Eeewww, gross, Kathleen!

We're having a Halloween party. The 4-, 5- and 6-year-old grandchildren enjoyed it so much last year that they've decided to make it an annual event. They don't do Halloween parties in school anymore--it's a "Harvest" party, and this year they're not even allowing costumes--so I'm game, if for no reason other than to get another wearing out of those adorable costumes (Ariel, Snow White, Spiderman). Looking for new party ideas put me in mind of an old recipe that I thought I'd share. You've probably seen it and been totally grossed out. If you're adventuresome, maybe you've tried it and know that it's really quite good and can be the hit of the party, depending on your guests.

I discovered the recipe in the newspaper back when my daughter worked at Petco. We made it, and she took it to the store's break room for Halloween. She enjoyed (and related in detail) the responses, from the initial disgust to scraping the box for every last crumb. So for my contribution to recipe month, I give you....

Kitty Litter Cake

• 1 German chocolate or spice cake mix
• 1 (or 2 for better fill of the box) white cake mix
• 2 (3.5 ounce) packages instant vanilla pudding mix
• 1 (12 ounce) package vanilla sandwich cookies
• green food coloring (and/or blue, as per your favorite kitty litter)
  
• 1 package small Tootsie Rolls (but a few large Tootsies can add variety)
• 1 small kitty litter pan (unused)
• 1 poop scooper (also unused)
  

DIRECTIONS

1. Prepare cake mixes and bake according to package directions (any size pan).
2. Prepare pudding according to package directions and chill until ready to assemble.
   
3. Crumble sandwich cookies in small batches in a food processor, scraping often. (Or put them in a plastic bag and smash with a hammer. Good therapy, less cleanup.) Set aside all but 1/4 cup. To the 1/4 cup add a few drops of green food coloring and mix.
4. When cakes are cooled to room temperature, crumble them into a large bowl. Toss with 1/2 the remaining cookie crumbs, and the chilled pudding. You probably won't need all of the pudding, you want the cake to be just moist, not soggy.
5. Line kitty litter box with the kitty litter liner. (Or not. Your litter box is new and pristine.) Put cake mixture into box.
6. Put half the unwrapped tootsie rolls in a microwave safe dish and heat until softened. (Not runny. That would be gross.) This is the part the kids really like: Shape with pre-washed hands (use tongue for post washing only) to look like...you know. Bury tootsie rolls randomly in the cake and sprinkle with half of the remaining cookie crumbs. Sprinkle a small amount of the green colored cookie crumbs lightly over the top.
7. Heat 3 or 4 of the tootsie rolls in the microwave until almost melted. Scrape them on top of the cake and sprinkle lightly with some of the green cookie crumbs. (By this time the cat was clearly disgusted with his people, so I think we skipped that part.) Heat the remaining tootsie rolls until pliable and shape as before. Spread randomly over top of cake mixture. Sprinkle with any remaining cookie crumbs. Don't hesitate to hang one tootsie roll over the side of the box and sprinkle with a few green cookie crumbs. And, of course, erve with the pooper scooper.

Probably not Martha Stewart approved, but perfect for 6th grade boys, and teenagers have a great time with it. Since I won't be serving it to my wee ones, I'm still flipping through magazines. Any tips you care to share? What's your best--or worst--Halloween memory?

Winner of Take No Prisoners by Cindy Gerard

Hey Wendy. You're the big winner from my contest yesterday. Get in touch with me so I can get your book in the mail. Congrats!!!
e-mail me through my website at www.cindygerard.com with your addy
Cindy

Does everybody know what time it is?

"Does everybody know what time it is?
"It’s Howdy Doody time, boys and girls.
"Ittttt’ssss How-dy Doody Time. Ittttt’ssss How-dy Doody Time."
Sing along with me now...
You say you don’t remember Howdy Doody?
Oh man, I feel sorry for you. There was once a time when a wittle kid could spend an hour or more sitting in front of their black and white TV set, watching Howdy and Buffalo Bob and Clarabelle the Clown and dreaming of being part of the Peanut Gallery.

And then of course there was the Micky Mouse Club.
"M. I. C (C ya real soon) …..
"K. E. Y.. (Y? because we like you!)
"M. O. U. S. EEEEEEEE."
Oh, how I wanted to be Annette Funicello.

Why am I wandering down memory lane? I don’t know. But now that I’m here, I am wondering what the kids today watch in place of Buffalo Bob and Rin Tin Tin and Lassie and all those wonderful, schmaltzy old shows that taught us values and fair play and things like good vs evil and how to ride a horse, sing and play a guitar at the same time. Big sigh.
I wanted to be Dale Evans too but that job was taken by, well, Dale Evans (Roy Rodgers’ wife, again, for the young ‘uns.)
So whether you’re from my generation or the next or even the next (gulp) what did you watch as a kid growing up that made a lasting impression on you? What do your kids watch that you absolutely approve of and wish there were more shows just like them?

Oh – and it’s time for something else too.

TAKE NO PRISONERS, book 2 of my Black Ops Inc, series is on the shelves right now (and BTW – hit at #16 on the NYT … YEAAAAAAAA!!! and thank you all who went out and bought the Book!!) I’ll pick a winner from someone who posts today and send them a free copy.

WINNER !!

Our winner for the copy of BITE ME is Wendy! Congratulations!

Please email me your snail address.

BelleBooks @ Bellebooks DOT com

No spaces and use a period.

Guest - Parker Blue

Hey, this is Debra Dixon. I'm here briefly to introduce you to our exciting new young adult fantasy author, Parker Blue. Her book BITE ME from Bell Bridge Books has gotten great reviews so far.

Help me welcome, Parker Blue !

The Idea Fairy

 

Writers are often asked where they get their ideas, as if there's some obscure idea fairy who bestows the perfect idea upon you with her sparkly wand if you know the magic words. Yeah, right. For most writers, finding ideas is not the problem. Avoiding them is. I've tried to duck as they come whizzing in, but they're sneaky little devils. They like to attack when I can't avoid them. They especially like to blindside me when I'm in the bathtub or shower (there's some strange relationship between story ideas and water I've never understood). Or, lately, they've been waiting until I'm driving 75 miles an hour on the freeway (in my hour and a half commute to work) to hit.

Yes, the diabolical things wait until I have no possible way to write them down, then they strike. You see, if I could just record them immediately, I could get them out of my brain and go back to working on whatever current work in progress I should be writing. But because I can't jot them down, I feel compelled to examine their sharp little edges, poke their intriguing extremities and play the "what if" game to form them into some sort of shape. Then, over the next few months, other bits and pieces pop in. I'll bump them up against other ideas I've had and if enough puzzle pieces fit together, I begin to see a story emerge. I call this my "gelling" period, when the ideas start to gel together. Once I can see a form emerge, then I can start working on a story.

Because of this process, I rarely remember the initial impetus for my books, the very first idea. However, in the case of Bite Me, out this month from Bell Bridge Books, I do remember. This is one of the rare times I went looking for a specific idea instead of letting it find me on its own. I wanted to write for the women's action/adventure line, Silhouette Bombshell (now sadly defunct), so I sat down to come up with four ideas to pitch to the editor. I love paranormal, so I knew I wanted to write an action novel with a female heroine and paranormal elements. My first thought of a vampire slayer. But, since Buffy has obviously been done (and very well!), I wanted to put a spin on it. So, what about a vampire hunter who is part demon as well? Even better, what if she's part lust demon and she has to fight vampires to keep the lust under control? Bingo! I had my idea.

Unfortunately, Bombshell folded and when I rewrote the book as a paranormal romance, the publisher who had expressed interest decided they didn't like it after all. But Deb Dixon at Bell Bridge Books pointed out that it would really work better as a young adult urban fantasy--and she was right. So, I rewrote it once again, dropping the heroine's age a few years, and giving her faithful hellhound a voice (who knew hellhounds were so snarky?). I love the result and I hope readers will, too. Here's what it's about:

Bite Me by Parker Blue, Bell Bridge Books, October 2008.

Eighteen-year-old Valentine Shapiro got a raw deal in the parent lottery. Her father was part incubus demon, and her mother's never forgiven her for that. Thrown out of the house by her mother, Val does the only thing that seems to make any sense—she takes aim at the town vampires, figuring a stake a day keeps the demon at bay. Soon enough, she finds herself deep in the underbelly of the city, discovering the secrets of the Demon Underground with the help of her faithful hellhound, Fang, and fighting to save those she loves. Whether they love her back or not.

Parker is blogging on NovelTalk as well--check it out and comment there for a chance to win an autographed copy of her book! Plus Bell Bridge Books will be giving one away today, so start racking up those comments!

Pam McCutcheon / Parker Blue
http://www.parkerblue.net
http://www.pammc.com

Christie Asks: What's Your Comfort?

I don’t want to dwell on the uncertainty of the times--only what we’re doing to surf through them! Let’s talk comfort, whether it be food, drink, or entertainment.

Under the food category, sub-labeled “I Did This For You,” I tried out the recipe for Microwave Chocolate Cake in a Mug. My verdict: YUK! It was rubbery and tasteless, even though I added chocolate chips. If you’re hard up for chocolate, just eat the chips by themselves. However, if you still want to try it out, the recipe can be found here:

http://caloriecount.about.com/chocolate-cake-mug-ft118846

Instead, though, I suggest picking up the single-serving microwave cakes from Betty Crocker at the grocery store. Son 2 and I tried these out for you, the chocolate-chocolate and the chocolate-caramel. They’re easy and fast and actually tasty. But expensive. Look for them on sale.

In the drink department, Surfer Guy and I took a short drive on Sunday afternoon to a local winery and did some tasting. Fun! We had six tastings, got to keep our glass, and it wasn’t enough to make us tipsy…just sleepy by the time we got home. But it smelled good in the cellar and the temp was cool (outdoors it’s been in the 90s here in SoCal) and we also munched on a few pieces of bread dipped in boutique olive oils. Okay, we could have sat at home and guzzled a couple of bottles of medium-priced wine by the time we paid for the tasting and the gas to get there, but our trek was better than doing that since we also avoided watching our football team lose (again).

Entertainment is yet another avenue to comfort. I can zone out on endless Law & Order episodes or put in a favorite movie like Love, Actually or The Return of the King. But for me, nothing is better than a comfort read. This weekend I re-read Lisa Kleypas’s Blue-Eyed Devil (a contemporary) and earlier in the week it was her Devil in Winter (a historical). Any “classic” Linda Howard will do the job for me, though I just re-read Cover of Night, which is fairly recent--2006. However, Mackenzie’s Mountain and Duncan’s Bride are two at the core of my comfort read shelf.

What gets you through? Share your favorite food, drink, or entertainment comfort item!

Whose Mug is that Anyway?

It's been a pretty tough couple of weeks around here, so I needed some entertainment today. I know, I know. You're thinking, if this is all it takes to trip Helen's trigger then she needs to get out more. Well, there you go.

See if you can guess to whom these chins belong. And I'm not even going to give you names 'cause that'll make it far too easy. Don't scroll down too far until you're ready to see who's who, or you'll ruin it. I've got the entire face of the guys on the next post, so you can see how many you guessed correctly.

So while you're ruminating over these beautiful mouths, chins, dimples and stubbled cheeks, think about how quickly we make assumptions about people based on appearance. Rumpled clothing, cleanly pressed white dress shirt, piercings, stained fingernails, too much makeup, too tan, crooked teeth, heavy, skinny, yada, yada, yada.

As a writer, I've used scars, length of hair, jewelry, tatoos and lots of other physical traits to convey character because we all do it. We all make immediate conclusions as to personality based on appearance. And rightly so. Generally speaking our appearance says a lot about us.

But while we can change our hair coloring, our clothing, our weight, there are some aspects of our appearance we can not change, things we're born with like height, bone structure, skin color. And some of those things very definitely affect how we see people.

Take dimples and cleft chins for example.

Man, oh man. I see a dimple on a guy and I melt. Dimples to me say considerate, sensitive, upbeat, quick to laugh and sweet sexy. This is the guy you want to take home to momma. Except for one. The third pic above. He's not a mother kind of character. Hint. Hint.

Cleft chins, on the other hand, get me hot. To me they think strong, mature, capable, and hot sexy. These are the guys who take control and are good at it. They're the cops with big guns. The fireman with ... but I digress.

Then you have this amazing freak of nature with this actor who has both dimples and a cleft chin. I can't even think about what that says, at least not if you want me to finish this post!

So what does it for you, dimples or cleft chins? Neither?

BTW, my October Superromance, Finding Mr. Right, is on the shelves only for a few more days. Haven't found Mr. Right, or just want to have some fun? Check this out this quiz on iVillage: http://quiz.ivillage.com/love/tests/mrright.htm

Helen

And the Dimple/Cleft Belongs to ...

Colin Firth
Mario Lopez
Josh Holloway, the dimpled cheek guy you'd never take home to mother.

Viggo Mortensen
Tom Brady

Jude Law
Jason Lewis

High School Memories 3. The Musical.

Let's hear it for heart throbs, teenage angst, and the agony of decision making.

Yes, it's time once again for a High School Musical. This time it's on the big screen with big production values and a familiar cast that has made this pre-teen dream-fest a Hollywood franchise. And it's good. If you like pretty teens, adolescent anguish, song-and-dance, and nothing even remotely "R" rated.

The kids from High School Musical are now seniors on the slow slide toward graduation and all facing questions about what comes next. Whether to go "artsy" and disappoint the parents or go "jock" and disappoint yourself. Whether to go to Stanford and say goodbye to the boyfriend, or to stay close to home and trade career hopes for a lifelong love. Whether or not to throw your brother under the bus in an attempt to get a great scholarship. How to cope when you're not yet ready to answer such questions and would really like to have it all simple and fun again, like when you were ten years old.

Yes, some of it was hokey. Some was brilliant. Some was a stretch. Some was just too sweet to be believable. Duets in the boyhood treehouse? A noteworthy lack of open mouths during kissing? Everybody sings and dances at the drop of a hat?


Somewhere in the midst of it all was a kernal of truth that pulled me in.

Do you remember that last year of high school? Do you remember all the questioning, the hopes, the expectations, the fears? Will I get accepted to a college or into a group of friends? Will I ever find somebody to love? How will it feel to be a little fish in a big college pond? Will I see any of my classmates after graduation day? What if I can't make it "out there"? Will my parents be disappointed? All of those things resonated with me on some level. It was a little nostalgia wrapped up with a lot of energy in a very pretty package.

The one topic that was notably (glaringly) missing from the angst is FINANCES. Every kid in the cast is so stellar, that of couse they'll get a scholarship. Failing that, the parents are afluent enough to somehow manage to pay. These days, kids worry a lot about financing their educations. I think they always have. But the kids of HSM3 don't mention it. Just another bit of Hollywood wish-fulfillment. Or ignorance.

So, if you like musicals, kids, and a glossy glimpse of idealized adolescence, I recommend it. The cast is likeable and talented and will probably show up in other movies to come-- especially that hunky Zac Efron. I'll refrain from being more specific, since he plays a high school kid-- but he is 21, you know. And shows real "IT" potential.

Just one caveat: After seeing this movie, you may have the urge to go home and hug a son or daughter or a niece or nephew or a grandkid or two, and give thanks for just how real and normal they are. And you may want to talk to them about their very real fears and joys and hopes and dreams. You-- WE-- just may learn a few things.

Anybody else seen HSM3? Care to comment?

Winner!

The winner of a copy of WINTER KISSED is Fiona! Please email Michele at toastfaery @ gmail.com (no spaces) with your snail mail address.

Happy snow!

Jack Frost nipping at your nose...

First, let it go on record that I am not responsible for the forecast of snow this coming Sunday, even though I worship the stuff and put the mojo out there with my current release. 

I was born a snow baby. I've lived in Minnesota all my life. I've had a love affair with snow since I could toddle about on my own. Love the white stuff. Used to spend all day playing in it as a kid. Most of my life I lived up north, about two hours south of the Canadian border, in Thief River Falls, home of Arctic Cat. My parents used to race snowcats. (Yep, the correct term is snowcat if you're from Thief River Falls, not a snowmobile or—shudder—snowmachine, as some Alaskans like to name them.) Each year we'd get outfitted head to toe in our new Arctic Cat snowsuits (Mine was purple; easier to find me in the snow.) Dad will shovel the driveway (no snowblower back then), which would leave drifts six to eight feet high lining the drive. Give me and my brother a shovel, or a plastic bucket and we'd start digging holes in those drifts until we had ourselves a cozy little snowfort. My Mom used to call us in when we were out playing in the snow after a few hours.
It's not that we were getting frostbite, or too cold (when you're nestled in a snowfort it's nice and toasty). She just wanted to see us, we'd been out for so long. Me and my brother would cast each other wary glances, then eye the door wistfully. "Can we go back out now, Mom?"

(I'm the one on the left in the pic with the rosy cheek kids gang.)

Yeah, snow. It's good. I think it runs in my veins. Flakes that is, not ice water. (Try to hold back the jokes, please.)

It's no surprise to me that I wrote a story about snow, frost and cold winter nights set in a cabin up north in Minnesota. It was inevitable. My hero? Jack Frost. A god/faery/shapeshifter who is made of frost, but when he touches human flesh, he takes on human shape and flesh.  He's just looking for some warmth.  My heroine? A self-described snowflakeologist. She photographs snowflakes because she's in love with snow (just like moi). I got the idea for her occupation from my collection of snowflake photography books by Kenneth Libbrecht. The dude takes pictures of snowflakes, people. And they rock. He uses colored lighting to enhance the fine details of the precious flake, and works swiftly (before his subject melts). So I decided to set my heroine on a quest to find those elusive two snowflakes that are exactly alike. Will she find them? You'll have to read the story to find out. :-)

A Kiss Of Frost is my novella in the WINTER KISSED duet with Vivi Anna. I wrote this story last winter when the snow blanketed the world and sparkled outside my window. Jack Frost had written all over my windows, enticing me to wonder what kind of love letters he was sending to me—and then it happened.

I fell out of love with winter.   Gasp!

Yep, you heard me. Been in MN for forty-mumble-mumble some years, and just last year it finally hit me. No love left for winter. Oh, don't get me wrong, I still love snow. I could park myself outside with my magnifying glass and study snowflakes all day long. It's the bone-searing, freakin' cold I don't like. Images of Floridian beaches and California sunshine have begun to haunt my winter nights. Each morning when I wake and tiptoe across the chilly hardwood floor to the bathroom where I know that toilet seat is just waiting to shock me awake with an icy touch, I wonder what it would be like to live in a Southern clime.

Hmm... How to have my snow and warmth too? I think I'd truly miss winter if I moved. But is it too much to ask for a few less months of cold? Let's push back winter until December and end it in March. Whatdaya say?

I saw WINTER KISSED in WalMart yesterday, so it's out there already! Tell me what your favorite season is, and why, and I'll pick one commenter to win a copy of WK, and announce it tomorrow.

Michele

Prize winners from Debra Dixon's "LATE" blog

Congratulations to our prize winners! We pulled TWO names!

Anna & flchen1

If you will send me your snail mail addies to: BelleBooks at BelleBooks.com

--Debra

Debra - Late! I'm Late! For a very important date!

I live in my Outlook calendar.  Live.  My life is in there.  I even have the life of my sister in there as her grandson goes off to 4 year-old kindergarten.  My sister is raising him and she was never very good with dates.  (Stop laughing!  I've only screwed up my blog twice in as many years  or maybe one year but...whatever.  Stop laughing.)

So, I took his school calendar and fed it into my calendar.  We've instituted the 3-2-1 plan.  I call her 3 days, 2 days and 1 day before the event.  If it's a Halloween party which requires a costume, I give her more notice and plan on making the costume myself.

I'm generally the organized one.  But I do occasionally slip.  Like today.  And in my real life I tend to be late.  Chronically late.  Almost on time for professional gigs but you will never see me arrive early.

I read a study somewhere a long time ago that sorted out the people who were early, on time, and late.  The early birds weren't completely present in the moment.  They were always guarding their schedule and looking ahead to the next appointment.  You wouldn't have their full attention for the entire meeting/event/function.

BUT those who were late could be counted on to focus on you, your event, your meeting, your whatever with everything they had.  They wouldn't look ahead to the future because they are all about living in that moment as if nothing else matters.  They get caught up in their current situation and that's what leads them to be late.

When my son was in school, I had a problem remembering to pick him up on time because I could get lost in accomplishing whatever task/business/meeting I had at that time.  (Yes, I know.  Horrible mother.  Again...stop laughing.)  So, I made a deal with him, if I was 30 minutes late, we'd go to the movie.  Right then.  No questions asked.  I never got another complaint unless I managed to hit the school driveway at 29 minutes.  He'd sometimes wave me by so I'd make the block and he could have his movie.  And that was okay.  It was "our thing."

Please accept my apologies for being late with my blog.  And to make it up to you...one lucky winner today can have their choice of any book in the BelleBooks, or Bell Bridge Books catalogues.  You just have to tell me which book  you want and why in your comments.

Anyone else been embarrassingly late?  Are you an on time or a chronically late person?  Really late or just a little late?  Really early or just a little early.

Prizes ??

AAACK!!

My blog day wasn't on my personal calendar! I'm on it.

Please come back in a little while. There will be a prize!!!

--Debra

Feeling Rejected? Cait London Has a Recovery Plan

Good morning, all! Welcome Cait London, who'll be riding along with us today and drawing on a wealth of experience as she shares her recipes for "rejection therapy."

By way of intro (as if our friend needs one) Cait is the author of almost 70 romance novels in different subgenres. She enjoys writing, painting, and photography.



Her psychic triplet trilogy concludes with FOR HER EYES ONLY.
Previous books: AT THE EDGE and A STRANGER’S TOUCH. Do visit her web page and take a look at samples of her wonderful work in all three arts.

Now, Cait, with all your talent, are you going to tell us you've experienced a bit of rejection? (Forgive me for taking comfort in having some company!) Do tell, m'dear. Here's Cait...

A writer’s story is often rejected by an agent or publisher. Their wrongful dismissal of a writer’s blood-and-sweat creation occurs frequently and indiscriminately to all writers, of every level. My take on the healing process, as it applies to writer-rejection, is that it’s all about attitude. Anyone experiencing rejection, in any form, is welcome to use this therapy:

Attitude Adjustment, Take Mine: Chirpy people, bah humbug. They’re depressing. Canned phrases like “Look on the bright side” make me want to urp. “It wasn’t meant to happen” makes me want to make something really happen—to them. Consistently happy people grate on your nerves, don’t they? Don’t they just make you want to run for the hills and escape them?

Basic Fact: I’ve decided that Ever-Happy writers/people are actually not happy; they just don’t know how to wallow well in the depths of rejection-misery. They’re afraid to let go and reveal that they lack wallowing-in-rejection ability. Overall, as a group, writers have the edge on misery-wallowing.

Balancing Nature: A balance of Ups and Downs is essential. Accept that Downs actually enable the Ups. It follows then, that these eternally happy people are actually down, but don’t know it. Poor Things. They must be led into the darkness, so they can understand true happiness. As a career-writer for some years now, I have fine-tuned my Up-Down ability into a sport.

How to Wallow: I can wallow with the best. Here’s an example:

When I first began sending out novel proposals, I was a divorcee with 3 teens. (Note: To those following my blogs, you’re not going to get an evil War of the Roses story here.) As a result, I already had an edge on understanding failure of a project, which I put to good use when story rejections arrived. I handled rejections by lying on the couch, a crocheted afghan wrapped around me. I moaned periodically, turned and stared at the back of the couch. Then I’d drag the afghan back to bed, where I would lie and stare at the ceiling fan, the paddles still or rotating. Then I’d drag the afghan back to the couch and begin the process again.

As Others See You: It’s important to let others see your misery. A friend used to watch me. That was her sport. I think she was betting on just when I’d make the switch between couch and bed, timing the durations.

To Cope, Eat Well: After one rejection in which I was obviously, absolutely right and the editor was wrong, I ate an entire box of chocolates. I am not a chocolate lover, but I was really Down and the box I’d intended as a neighbor’s gift was handy. As a result, I was sick for days, and had quite the little bathroom condition, too. And I had to buy her another box of chocolates.

The Secret of Healing: As a beginning writer, I didn’t know how to wallow correctly. The secret to wallowing well is to buddy-wallow. This can done on the phone: you listen to another’s rejection story and they return the favor. By sharing each other’s rejection-misery, you can enrich and deepen it to its true black, bottomless hole. The secret also depends on balance. If your buddy is Up, while you are Down, or vice-versa, it’s impossible to wallow well. However, if you have leftover Down to spare, it is essential to share, to spread it evenly with everyone you know. Spare no one in your path.

Best Recommendation: An unsuccessful rejection-wallow means that misery will be extended for a time. It’s best to really dig in, wallow and get it all out.

Result: Then you can be a Chirpy-Happy person, too.

I welcome all challengers in the sport of rejection-wallowing. If you have experienced rejection of any kind, please share your healing technique.

Note: You can blog with Cate anytime you need more therapy. All the photographs you see here are Cait's.

Hey, Cait, congratulations on making the New York Times bestseller list! We'll want to get a copy of FOR HER EYES ONLY before Amazon runs out. (I'm enjoying mine right now!)

Terminal, the sequel

You know the Tom Hanks movie? I've been trapped in my own version.

My son and I were on a trip. We left our hotel at 9 a.m. on Saturday morning to head home.

We touched down in Minneapolis at 8:30 MONDAY night, 46 hours late. And not one second of those delays was due to weather.

Suffice it to say a certain airline is at the top of my @#$% list at the moment.

So I'm very sorry I missed my post on Monday. You all have no idea how sorry.

Susie

Kids These Days. . .

No, I don't think the world is going to Hell on a rollerskate or in a handbasket or on the back of a fleabitten hound. And generally when somebody makes a snarky comment about "kids today" in front of me, I just consider the source and let it go. See, I think kids to day are doing exactly what we did at their age-- coping the best they can with the world they're handed.

So when a study came out not long ago saying that our kids were "wisdom deprived" I was tempted to ignore the article as just another Chicken Little predicting we'd all be covered in "sky" by the end of the day, week, year, decade. . . Then something caught my eye in the article: the word proverbs.

I LOVE proverbs. They're nuggets of wisdom and cultural meaning passed down in palatable little chunks that make you exercise your brain and connect with the stream of human development. In other words: they tickle me. In places I can't scratch.

For several years I've collected these things in books and on-line lists. . . used them in my own books. . . dragged them out at parties so pretentious snobs would leave me alone. . . You can see where this is going, right?

It's important that we pass these things along to the next generation. I mean, what if those two birds in the bush come home to roost and one bites the hand that doesn't know what the other hand is doing? So when the article said that high school students quizzed on the recognition and meanings of proverbs scored abysmally low. . . I finally began to worry about the next generation. These apples that seem to be falling too danged far from the tree!

Then I read something of the study and methodology and realized that we may have (in the worlds of our esteemed President) "misunderestimated" them. It seems that the creators of the study selected and used a bunch of old proverbs-- ones used over the course of the last two hundred years-- to test the youth. One particularly revealing comment from one of the researchers was that she was talking with a young person and referred to Franklin D. Roosevelt's "fireside chats". . . only to get a blank look. The "youth" didn't didn't know what she was talking about, ergo, kids today are dumber than owl doodie.

Aha! Now I see the problem with the study. Fireside chats were before my time too. And I honestly don't recall my parents mentioning them or using them to instruct me in any way. Maybe these "researchers" just used the wrong proverbs. How about sprinkling in a few modern-isms. . . current pithy sayings on their way to becoming the

PROVERBS of TOMORROW.

I went on a search and came up with a surprisingly long list of candidates for addition to the Pantheon of Proverbs. Check these out and vote for your top choice for "Proverbs of Tomorrow" in our comments.

What goes up must come down.

Lead, follow, or get out of the way.

No good deed goes unpunished.

Sometimes you gets the bear; sometimes the bear gets you.

Buy low; sell high.

If you want your dreams to come true, don't oversleep.

Failure is the first step toward success.

Jumping to conclusions is not aerobic exercise.

Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

Life's a bitch. . . and then you die.

It's easier to get forgiveness than permission.

Your mileage may vary.

If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

Success is the best revenge.

The customer is always right.

There's no such thing as a free lunch.

If it' ain't broke; don't fix it.

For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.

To err is human; to really screw things up takes a computer.

No pain; no gain.

You snooze, you lose.

Shit happens.

The one who dies with the most toys wins.

Give 'til it hurts. Then give some more.

The heaviest thing to carry is a grudge.

What goes around, comes around.

My way or the highway.

It's not the years, it's the miles.

Wherever you go, there you are.

If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

Think outside the box.

It takes a village to raise a child.

Practice random acts of kindness.

Don't sweat the small stuff. And it's all small stuff.

It ain't over until the fat lady sings.

Life is what happens while you're making other plans.

Git'R done!

You get what you pay for.

It takes two to tango.

Garbage in; garbage out.

Different strokes for different folks.

A picture is worth a thousand words.

Baseball is wrong; man with four balls cannot walk.

Okay that last one was a contribution from our Japanese affiliate. But I think it truly deserves a place on the list.

Which of these Proverbs-in-Training do you think will last? If you like more than one, that's fine-- just let us know. And if you've got one you want to nominate, let's hear it! The more the merrier! Wait-- I don't think that's a proverb, or is it?

While We're Waiting

Happy Monday morning all!

While we're waiting for Susie's post take a gander at my new cover for my 3/09 Harlequin NASCAR book.

Like? Don't like? I'm curious what everyone thinks.

Susie, or anyone else, post over me whenever.

This is the guy, Argentine polo player Adolfo Cambiaso, who I always pictured for my hero. Cute, isn't he?

Kylie wants to Know: How do YOU Spell Relief??

Well I didn’t go quite so far as our friend in the picture, although I had a few touchy moments! But I do sort of feel I made it over the top of huge mountain a couple days ago.

I made my deadline.

And yeah, any author will tell you that’s a greeeeaaat feeling. Especially when it’s one of those write 78 pages in two days not sure if it’s even doable sort of deadlines. Whew.

See, some deadlines leave leeway. Like maybe a few days to actually edit the darn book before sending it in. Others have me writing all night and all the next day to get the project in on time and wondering if it made sense. This was that sort of deadline. If I’d had this guy’s club, I’m not sure whether I would have used it on the computer or myself.

It was my second book for Berkley, WAKING EVIL. And the title grew more apropos as it went along because it was one of those books that refused to end. I had planned about a five hundred page manuscript; it weighed in at nearly 560. I felt like I’d signed up for a marathon but someone added on a couple more laps without telling me!

Not that my husband wasn’t all kinds of supportive. Oh, yeah. He was full of help, like every time he walked by me he’d ask, “You done yet?” And then, my personal favorite, “Just end it. Now. Type The end.” Yep, that’s how it’s done, honey!

But I’m pretty proud of this particular deadline because I wrote the book in 4 ½ months. During two of those months I was working on another book at the same time. (Not to be recommended!) Two sons got married during the course of it; I took two trips; school started and I went back to work; and I had surgery. So I really feel like it was quite an accomplishment in some respects.

In other respects, I just feel exhausted.

Usually I treat myself when I get a book done. Okay, I’ll admit it, sometimes it’s with grease. McDonalds comes to mind! Sometimes it’s with a little trip or a couple days off writing. This time…it was a bowl of popcorn and a nap. My standards have gotten disgracefully low. And the next day I had to dive right into book three.

But…it was a really good nap.

We all have stressers. What are yours? Do you have something tried and true for destressing? What do you do to treat yourself or celebrate for accomplishing a goal?

A little Salsa & some Salsa music please…

Okay, I’ve just got to bring it up. Yes, I’m watching Dancing With the Stars. I didn’t watch the first two seasons because I thought – well – I thought it was stupid. And well, maybe it is a little but it’s also great entertainment. A wholesome, G rated, funny and frankly sometimes stunning show. So it’s not PBS’s Upstairs Downstairs. So, it’s not Face the Nation. What it is, is fun – especially this year with Cloris Leachman dancing – albeit in geriatric hose – across the floor.
If you haven’t watched, it’s worth tuning in just to see her. Because she can dance? Well, heck no. But because the woman is 82 years old. Let me repeat that – 82 years old and darn if she can’t do things on that dance floor that I don’t think I could do - like lift her leg straight out in front of her then prop her foot on her partner’s shoulder.

It’s just plain amazing – and an incentive for anyone who thinks they have to hang up their dancing shoes when they hit Senior Citizenville city limits.

The show is introducing 4 new dances in the coming weeks – one of them is Salsa – and to commemorate that and with cudos to Cloris (who, by the way, was born in Des Moines, Iowa) I’m sharing a super yummy fresh, no cook salsa recipe from my daughter-in-law’s kitchen that I know you’re going to love.

GARDEN SALSA
Chop the following and throw in a bowl:
1 cucumber, 1 bunch of green onions, 1 red pepper, 1 green pepper, 1 yellow pepper.
Add: 1 can of corn (drained), 1 can of black beans (drained), 1 cup of salsa, 1 cup Western Dressing, 1 can Rotelle tomatoes (NOT drained)

Stir and refrigerate. Best if made a day or two before serving. Can store for 2 weeks in the fridge – but I promise, it won’t last that long. Enjoy.

Okay – now back to Cloris. She truly is amazing and you've got to figure that at 82, it took some guts for her to agree to be on the show. Now I want to ask you. What would you do if you didn’t feel you had limitations that kept you from doing it? For me, it’s hang gliding. I’d love to try it but, there are no cliffs in Iowa :o). And I might have a little issue with heights. So… if weight or age or gender or health issues or location or time or money or anything you can think of were not factors, what would you do that you haven’t done?

WINNER!

And One Hot Mess goes to...ddurance. Please email me your address at lgreiman@earthlink.net. Thanks everyone for your encouragement and support.

www.loisgreiman.com

Free Book

Lois Greiman

On March 24th my fifth Chrissy McMullen mystery will hit the shelves. The people at Bantam Books have decided I need a whole new look and title. (Notice cover--it’s totally different than the others.) Which got me to thinking; editors, sometimes you love ‘em, sometimes you hate ‘em, but you always need ‘em. At least I do because I have no idea how to punctuate. Never have, but these days I’m worse than ever. And I’m blaming the simplicity of email.

For example, the other day I was trying to send my bio to a guy at a conference in Chicago. He didn’t receive it, so I tried again. When I didn’t get a response I sent a message that read, “I resent. Did you get it now?”

A couple of hours later I got a note back from him that said, “I am so sorry if I offended you. I looked through my emails and didn’t find where I wrote, ‘did you get it now?’ But please forgive me. I assure you I did not mean to offend.”

I sat there flummoxed for a few seconds and finally knew what he was talking about. Laughing and blushing at the same time I assured him that he had not offended me. I had just been too lazy to put the proper hyphen in re-sent, giving him an entirely different meaning than I had intended.

How about you? Have you ever completely misrepresented your meaning when you dashed off an email or am I the only one who does this sort of thing with stunning regularity. Tell me your silliest cyber mistake. I’ll send an advance reading copy to one blundering commenter. I promise I have a top-notch editor who catches most of my mistakes.






www.loisgreiman.com