No, I don't think the world is going to Hell on a rollerskate or in a handbasket or on the back of a fleabitten hound. And generally when somebody makes a snarky comment about "kids today" in front of me, I just consider the source and let it go. See, I think kids to day are doing exactly what we did at their age-- coping the best they can with the world they're handed.So when a study came out not long ago saying that our kids were "wisdom deprived" I was tempted to ignore the article as just another Chicken Little predicting we'd all be covered in "sky" by the end of the day, week, year, decade. . . Then something caught my eye in the article: the word proverbs.
I LOVE proverbs. They're nuggets of wisdom and cultural meaning passed down in palatable little chunks that make you exercise your brain and connect with the stream of human development. In other words: they tickle me. In places I can't scratch.
For several years I've collected these things in books and on-line lists. . . used them in my own books. . . dragged them out at parties so pretentious snobs would leave me alone. . . You can see where this is going, right?
It's important that we pass these things along to the next generation. I mean, what if those two birds in the bush come home to roost and one bites the hand that doesn't know what the other hand is doing? So when the article said that high school students quizzed on the recognition and meanings of proverbs scored abysmally low. . . I finally began to worry about the next generation. These apples that seem to be falling too danged far from the tree!
Then I read something of the study and methodology and realized that we may have (in the worlds of our esteemed President) "misunderestimated" them. It seems that the creators of the study selected and used a bunch of old proverbs-- ones used over the course of the last two hundred years-- to test the youth. One particularly revealing comment from one of the researchers was that she was talking with a young person and referred to Franklin D. Roosevelt's "fireside chats". . . only to get a blank look. The "youth" didn't didn't know what she was talking about, ergo, kids today are dumber than owl doodie.
Aha! Now I see the problem with the study. Fireside chats were before my time too. And I honestly don't recall my parents mentioning them or using them to instruct me in any way. Maybe these "researchers" just used the wrong proverbs. How about sprinkling in a few modern-isms. . . current pithy sayings on their way to becoming the
PROVERBS of TOMORROW.
I went on a search and came up with a surprisingly long list of candidates for addition to the Pantheon of Proverbs. Check these out and vote for your top choice for "Proverbs of Tomorrow" in our comments.
What goes up must come down.
Lead, follow, or get out of the way.
No good deed goes unpunished.
Sometimes you gets the bear; sometimes the bear gets you.
Buy low; sell high.
If you want your dreams to come true, don't oversleep.
Failure is the first step toward success.
Jumping to conclusions is not aerobic exercise.
Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
Life's a bitch. . . and then you die.
It's easier to get forgiveness than permission.
Your mileage may vary.
If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.
Success is the best revenge.
The customer is always right.
There's no such thing as a free lunch.
If it' ain't broke; don't fix it.
For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.
To err is human; to really screw things up takes a computer.
No pain; no gain.
You snooze, you lose.
Shit happens.
The one who dies with the most toys wins.
Give 'til it hurts. Then give some more.
The heaviest thing to carry is a grudge.
What goes around, comes around.
My way or the highway.
It's not the years, it's the miles.
Wherever you go, there you are.
If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
Think outside the box.
It takes a village to raise a child.
Practice random acts of kindness.
Don't sweat the small stuff. And it's all small stuff.
It ain't over until the fat lady sings.
Life is what happens while you're making other plans.
Git'R done!
You get what you pay for.
It takes two to tango.
Garbage in; garbage out.
Different strokes for different folks.
A picture is worth a thousand words.
Baseball is wrong; man with four balls cannot walk.
Okay that last one was a contribution from our Japanese affiliate. But I think it truly deserves a place on the list.
Which of these Proverbs-in-Training do you think will last? If you like more than one, that's fine-- just let us know. And if you've got one you want to nominate, let's hear it! The more the merrier! Wait-- I don't think that's a proverb, or is it?
