I am not a particularly trendy person. Heaven knows. But every once in a while I get the urge to redecorate myself. Hair, makeup, color palette in the old closet. I went for a peek at the Spring forcast and found. . . (drum roll please). . .Jumpsuits! Yes, those wacky garments that make you have to qualify for the bathroom olympics are back They say the "head to toe monochrome look" will "make you look taller." Personally, I think they just make you look like you're in prison or clinically depressed. . . or both. My bad. It says here (my fashion mag) that metallics are going to be big for the jumpsuit look. Which just means we'll have to take a can opener with us to the ladies' room.
Purple lip color. But not just one shade of purple. . . there are hundreds of shades: wild plum, eggplant, loosestrife (!), purple-dove, mad violet, mauve melt, plum brulee, black orchid, pink lilac, venetian rose, rosewood, seared raspberry and my favorite, lick-me-lilac. Did I mention I look cadaverous in purple and that wearing lilac makes perfect strangers pause and offer to donate blood in my name. I probably won't be hitting this fashion trend. . . no matter how cute or alluring the lipstic color names are. But if you're a person who can wear some exotic blend of red and blue. . . this is your year, baby!
Sheers. I am taking this not to mean the see-through drapes that used to be de rigeur on well-dressed windows in fashionable homes. When I looked up a few pics of the clothes involved, I thought I had staggered into a time portal. I thought we had driven a stake through the heart of the sheer/naked blouse years back. Apparently these translucent-to-transparent monstrosities that show the safety pins in your bra, your moles, and your back cleavage have the lives of a cat. Or a vampire. They're back. In both sweeping, scarf-like models and ruffly demure versions. Did any of you wear these in their earlier incarnation? do you know anybody over 15 who did? I have to think this is the ultimate we're-down-to-the-last-idea-in-the-barrell option. "Well, we could always bring back the see-through blouse. Bwahahahahahaha." (Evil laughter echoes throughout the sewers of Paris. And maybe under the Opera House.) 
Fruity colors. Papaya, Jamacian Sunset, Pineapple Crash ,Tropical Lime, Banana Creamie, Pomegranate, Pistachio, and Passionfruit. . . as well as Palace Blue. Imagine wearing such things to the office. . . as well as on the beach. . . to backyard barbeques. You know, this is one trend I might be able to get behind. I have too much of a tendency to buy neutrals and dark colors and autumny hues. I could stand to brighten up a bit. A papaya shirt or two. . . as long as it isn't transparent. . . Here is a smorgasboard of "honorable mentions" that may set your teeth on edge or make you giggle. . . depending on your orientation.
short bandage dress
grecian goddess sportswear (?)
cut out booties
exposed midriff
fringing
huge and massive earrings
knee high gladiator platforms
oops shorts (???)
I'm not certain, but I think Stella McCartney seems to have imbedded a tequilla worm in the lucite heels of her spring pumps. Look 'em up and see it you can tell me what that thing is.
Okay, I think there are a few redeeming graces in the season's fashion fare. I fell madly in love with a pair of shoes meant to take us back to the "natural." See what you think. Too much?
Sigh. Now that's FASHION!Oh, and before I forget, I want to invite you to my new web site. . . BetinaKrahn.com. I'd love to hear what you think of it. Be sure to drop me a line!
Meanwhile. . . what is your favorite fashion trend? something maybe that started out as a trend but became a staple part of your look or your wardrobe? Are you a trend setter or a trend follower? And am I the only person in North America who wishes the 80's legwarmers would come back? I loved those thing-- especially in winter!
