Kathleen Takes On the Fashion Police

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Now, let's dish about the Red Carpet. Specifically, the "Fashion Police" and a term that twists my ear into a knot lately: age appropriate.

When I was a kid--back in the days of one TV per family--we had a couple of family viewing traditions (besides "The Wizard of Oz" at Easter and the parade of Christmas Specials): the Miss America Pageant and the Oscars, both of which allowed us to pick favorites and keep score. I remember well the year of "Dr. Zhivago." I thought Julie Christie was the prettiest woman in the world. Fast forward to this year's Oscars and the Fashion Police--it's a cable show, don't know what channel--on 2008 nominee Julie Christie. "Well, she's a legend. She's 1000 years old, and the dress is age appropriate, but it's a bad choice." Okay, I don't know what was with those funny sleeves or gloves or whatever, but I hope I look like this when I'm 1000 years old.

The Fashion Police judged Ruby Dee's choice to be "age appropriate and absolutely elegant." Elegant, absolutely. Stunning, chic, tasteful, classy.

We're also told that 15-year-old Miley Cyrus, aka Hannah Montana, is wearing an "age appropriate" outfit, and the Police love the earrings. I don't know. The neck dips pretty low front and back, and the garnet chandeliers seem a bit much for a 15-year-old. Then we're told that Laura Linney looks like a "school marm." The dress is too plain, the hair dowdy, the jewelry too simple. Huh? This is dowdy?Nicole Kidman's necklace--which took my breath away when she came out on stage--was deemed "way too much. Overdone." No way! She's tall. She walks like a goddess. The simple black dress set the diamonds off beautifully. She appeared to be draped in icicles. You ask me, the Police were jealous.
They gave Marion Cotillard thumbs down for her "fish" dress. I thought it was different and fun and looked like a work of art. Heck, she's French. She's gorgeous. The dress was a fantasy, and it made me smile.

So did Diablo Cody, the former stripper from the Twin Cities who wrote the screenplay for "Juno" and won herself an Oscar. The Fashion Police simply gave her a pass on the dress because she's "being herself." Read: former stripper? I gave her a thumbs up for individuality. (Incidentally, they said you get your stripper name from the name of your pet and the street you grew up on. My stripper name is Wilder Grandview. What's yours?)


How about the men? The police said Viggo looked like an undertaker. But if you saw "Eastern Promises" you know the suit was movie appropriate. I liked it. But I wish he'd lose the beard.

I agree with the cops on Daniel Day Lewis and his lady. Her dress looked silly. His tux was a dud. He wore a gold hoop in each ear. Who did he think he was? Jack Sparrow? Speaking of whom, Jack's alter-ego, Johnny Depp, looked cute. The nerd at the senior prom. He's always a character. And an individual.



The color of Kelly Preston's dress didn't please the Fashion Police, but I thought it was fine. It stood out among all the black and red frocks. But what's with my man John Travolta's helmet hair? He looked like one of the original Ken dolls with the flocked hair. Just ask the Barbie expert. (That would be me.)

Okay, here comes another bias on my part. Calista Flockhart looks healthier than she has in a while, but talk about age inappropriate. I love Harrison Ford, and I hate seeing him look foolish. This photo says it all. He looks like he's suffering through father-daughter weekend. The FP loved this dress on Calista. It looked like a dish rag.

Here are my picks for best of the best: Forest Whitaker and his wife for the classiest couple. Heidi Klum for fab dress on fab femme. (Anyone watching Project Runway? Who's going to win?) Heidi's dress was later auctioned off for charity.

So what did you think of the Red Carpet this year? Who was stylin'? Which dress did you covet? Which jewelry? Whose hair hit the mark and whose hairstylist needs a refresher course? You can view most of the stars in their finery at this Oscar fashion site.

I didn't opine on the Oscar winners here, but did you think anyone got robbed this year?