Friday, February 29, 2008

Kathleen Takes On the Fashion Police

First, a word from my sponsor. Mystic Horseman comes out (officially March 4 or Feb 26, depending) as a paperback original right about now. It's the sequel to my last RITA finalist, Ride a Painted Pony, released in paperback in October. You wanted Dillon's story? You got it. Library Journal says of Mystic Horseman : "Poignant, heart-wrenching, heroic, and overflowing with hope, this well-written, family-centered romance takes a few unexpected turns and uses the author's knowledge of Lakota culture to full advantage." You can read a little excerpt on my web site.

Now, let's dish about the Red Carpet. Specifically, the "Fashion Police" and a term that twists my ear into a knot lately: age appropriate.

When I was a kid--back in the days of one TV per family--we had a couple of family viewing traditions (besides "The Wizard of Oz" at Easter and the parade of Christmas Specials): the Miss America Pageant and the Oscars, both of which allowed us to pick favorites and keep score. I remember well the year of "Dr. Zhivago." I thought Julie Christie was the prettiest woman in the world. Fast forward to this year's Oscars and the Fashion Police--it's a cable show, don't know what channel--on 2008 nominee Julie Christie. "Well, she's a legend. She's 1000 years old, and the dress is age appropriate, but it's a bad choice." Okay, I don't know what was with those funny sleeves or gloves or whatever, but I hope I look like this when I'm 1000 years old.

The Fashion Police judged Ruby Dee's choice to be "age appropriate and absolutely elegant." Elegant, absolutely. Stunning, chic, tasteful, classy.

We're also told that 15-year-old Miley Cyrus, aka Hannah Montana, is wearing an "age appropriate" outfit, and the Police love the earrings. I don't know. The neck dips pretty low front and back, and the garnet chandeliers seem a bit much for a 15-year-old. Then we're told that Laura Linney looks like a "school marm." The dress is too plain, the hair dowdy, the jewelry too simple. Huh? This is dowdy?Nicole Kidman's necklace--which took my breath away when she came out on stage--was deemed "way too much. Overdone." No way! She's tall. She walks like a goddess. The simple black dress set the diamonds off beautifully. She appeared to be draped in icicles. You ask me, the Police were jealous.
They gave Marion Cotillard thumbs down for her "fish" dress. I thought it was different and fun and looked like a work of art. Heck, she's French. She's gorgeous. The dress was a fantasy, and it made me smile.

So did Diablo Cody, the former stripper from the Twin Cities who wrote the screenplay for "Juno" and won herself an Oscar. The Fashion Police simply gave her a pass on the dress because she's "being herself." Read: former stripper? I gave her a thumbs up for individuality. (Incidentally, they said you get your stripper name from the name of your pet and the street you grew up on. My stripper name is Wilder Grandview. What's yours?)

How about the men? The police said Viggo looked like an undertaker. But if you saw "Eastern Promises" you know the suit was movie appropriate. I liked it. But I wish he'd lose the beard.

I agree with the cops on Daniel Day Lewis and his lady. Her dress looked silly. His tux was a dud. He wore a gold hoop in each ear. Who did he think he was? Jack Sparrow? Speaking of whom, Jack's alter-ego, Johnny Depp, looked cute. The nerd at the senior prom. He's always a character. And an individual.

The color of Kelly Preston's dress didn't please the Fashion Police, but I thought it was fine. It stood out among all the black and red frocks. But what's with my man John Travolta's helmet hair? He looked like one of the original Ken dolls with the flocked hair. Just ask the Barbie expert. (That would be me.)

Okay, here comes another bias on my part. Calista Flockhart looks healthier than she has in a while, but talk about age inappropriate. I love Harrison Ford, and I hate seeing him look foolish. This photo says it all. He looks like he's suffering through father-daughter weekend. The FP loved this dress on Calista. It looked like a dish rag.

Here are my picks for best of the best: Forest Whitaker and his wife for the classiest couple. Heidi Klum for fab dress on fab femme. (Anyone watching Project Runway? Who's going to win?) Heidi's dress was later auctioned off for charity.

what did you think of the Red Carpet this year? Who was stylin'? Which dress did you covet? Which jewelry? Whose hair hit the mark and whose hairstylist needs a refresher course? You can view most of the stars in their finery at this Oscar fashion site.

I didn't opine on the Oscar winners here, but did you think anyone got robbed this year?


Debra Dixon said...

Kathy-- I always love looking at the photos. And it's interesting how not everyone agrees if you look at the fashion police from different websites/style shows.

I thought Anne Hathaway's weird clump of red flowers on her otherwise lovely dress was tacky, but someone "who's supposed to know these things" said it was fabulous.

Helen Mirren (sp?) would have had a lovely dress if those sleeves had been shorter. It looked better in close up than at a distance.

Playground Monitor said...

I didn't even watch the Oscars this year so I don't have a clue about who wore what.

I do remember the swan dress that Bjork wore one year. Yikes! And Barbra Streisand's see-through outfit. Oh, what about Cher's Vegas showgirl head gear?

This reminds me -- I need something to wear to Rita night in San Francisco.


Betina Krahn said...

I'm so glad you brought this up, Kathy. I was thrilled speechless by the profusion of red at this year's Oscars! I LOVED it! Such beautiful gowns, and so many of them truly elegant. I was all but applauding as I watched.

For what my opinion's worth, things were so classy at this year's fete that the fashionistas had a hard time coming up with stuff to complain about. They nit-picked and were catty and stupid. I Loved Diablo's dress and tattoo-- a refreshing and genuine change. And Marion Cotillard's fish dress was deliciously classy for such a funky style. (I also loved her performance in the flick!) And Nicole looked fabulous, as did Laura Linney-- not a frumpy bone in the woman's body. I think the fashion critics were all over saturated, color-drunk from all the red.

And Viggo. . . sigh. Just fabulous. And Johnny. Sigh. I'm with you, Kathy, on Travolta's helmet hair and on Harrison Ford's sheepish look. Ford is one man who hasn't aged well at all. He looks like a bad caricature of his former self. Being with someone so young and dewy only emphasizes how he's aged.

But I have to disagree about Helen Mirren's sleeves. UGH. And Heidi Klum in a dress so ostentatious and "all about me" when it so clearly WASN'T all about her. What was she even doing there? And I vote we take up a collection and send Daniel Day Lewis a pair of BLACK shoes!

And yes, Forest Whittaker and wife were wonderful. But there were a number of lovely couples there-- for me it would be hard to pick just one!

Oh, and my Stripper name would be Collette Alpine, or Collette Robin-- which probably sounds better. Not that I'll ever have to use it! :)

Michele Hauf said...

This is actually my first look at the Oscar finery. I usually tune in an hour before the show to watch the clothes and catch ET the next evening for all the reviews, but completely spaced it this year.

I must say, my man, DDL, is looking rather awkward, but never has dressed to please. I vote for Forest and his wife, too. They look great.

Hmmm, stripper name? Jiggs Kneale. If you stick a comma in there, it becomes a very strange command, but probably not for a stripper. Eck!

Christie Ridgway said...

Love Kelly Preston's dress and Laura Linney's. Yes, Ick on Travolta's helmet head and it just me or does he look awfully skinny? Put him and Calista together and you still don't have one whole person.

Remember how great and lean-muscly DDL looked in LOTM? Maybe he needs to get back to the gym.

Kathy: Can't wait to MYSTIC HORSEMAN...I've been waiting for this book.

Last, my stripper name would be Regal Cedar. Which sounds more like a guy stripper, huh?

Debra Dixon said...

>>Last, my stripper name would be Regal Cedar. Which sounds more like a guy stripper, huh?<<

Thank you Christie. There is Diet Cherry Pepsi all over my monitor.

Kathleen Eagle said...

Betina, I think Heidi was there partly to promote the Red Dress (Fund?)--the women's heart disease awareness/fund. The dress was then auctioned off for the fund. It was another "fantasy" dress, and who else could pull that off? She did "Project Runway" when she was many months pregnant and made you want to sing "I am woman!" in celebration. I cheered for her on the Red Carpet--the hair reminded me of Grace Kelly. A model who isn't scrawny. Refreshing!

Gennita said...

I liveblog the event every year (yes, I'm pimping for next year, LOL) with a bottle of wine, natch. Then I sort of get drunker and drunker and the commentary gets more and more senseless. LOL. But I do remember thinking (and posting) Mirren's dress as very queenly and age-appropriate. Oh, btw, this year, I was also watching the NASCAR race that was on another channel at the same time. I called my grand event the NOSHCARs. Everything ended up kind of confusing....

Kathleen Eagle said...

Regal Cedar! Jiggs Kneale! Hey, we've got the makings of a traveling show here. Absent a designer dress, maybe we could do a calendar for charity. (Faux leopard seatcovers for the convertible?)

Kathleen Eagle said...

Gennita, I wanna go to your party next year. I'll be in the NOSHPIT changing shoes and supplying gas.

Helen Brenna said...

This is weird. Kathy, you seemed to have picked out a nice selection of the women's dresses, but after the Oscars I had the impression that most of the women looked so much the same it was boring. Safe, I thought. No one wants to get blasted by the fashion police. That's too bad.

Agree with pretty much everything, except I actually like DDL's wife's dress, minus the shoes.

Oh, add Viggo's beard has to do with his new film - Appaloosa being filmed in NM right now.

Genn - NASCAR and the oscars - what fun!

Fun topic!

Betina Krahn said...

Regal Cedar . . . Christie, definitely a male stripper name. You now owe Deb a new monitor screen and me a new bottom lip (the one I'm biting to keep from making all those tacky "wood" jokes!).

Betina Krahn said...

Okay, Kathy, I guess I take the snark back about Heidi, seeing as how she was there for a good purpose. And yes, she did look fabulous, but. . . I still think it was a bit much.

And is it just me, or is Katherine Heigl just more and more beautiful as time goes on? Who saw her big movie career coming?

Kathleen Eagle said...

Betina, I liked Katherine Heigl's red dress--disagreed with the FP on the cutout shoulder, which I liked--but I had to look her up to see that she was the one who got "Knocked Up." I liked that one. Otherwise I see she's a "Grey's Anatomy" star, and I haven't gotten into that one. She was one of several beauties of the blonde retro style a la Marilyn.

Cindy Gerard said...

Big congrats on the upcoming release, Kathleen. Hope it sells like crazy
And speaking of crazy - where are you women getting these stripper names? Did I miss something?

Kathleen Eagle said...

Oooh, Viggo's making a movie called "Appaloosa"? Is it a remake of the Brando movie? Viggo could reprise a Brando role. Only Viggo.

Viggo rides again! Yes!

Kathleen Eagle said...

Cindy, one of the Hollywood reporters made the comment re Diablo Cody (see post) that your stripper name is your pet's name plus the name of the street you grew up on. So you would be...?

Gennita said...

Since my old home address is in another language, how about the one where my first house was built? That and my latest furbabee, Jiggle Low, would make me...TADA...Jiggle Cherry. Hmm, I dunno--are jiggly cherries sexy? LOL.

Kathleen Eagle said...

Gennita, JiggleLow Cherry is perfect. Come on in and choose your pole!

Cindy Gerard said...

Got it. Afraid my stripper name wouldn't net me many dollar bills in my G string: Margaret Washington
Doesn't quite go with the bump and grind :o)

Playground Monitor said...

Faux leapard seatcovers indeed.

I don't have a pet now but if I use my last cat's name my stripper name would be Boopie Liberty.


Gennita said...

Margaret Washingon would be the stripper who comes out dressed as Mother Superior, prim and proper, till she starts her act. We know Cindy has a wild side ;).

Cindy Gerard said...

Ha - Me? Wild? You're talking about a grandmother here :o)
And truthfully, I was thinking of something more presidential or first lady-ish ...

flchen1 said...

Kathleen, I loved your clothing commentary! I missed the Oscars this year (I must have been living in that proverbial hole this past month)--didn't even realize they were going to be on until after they were over!

The fashion police are nothing if not fickle! (Did I say that right? Those negatives always trip me up!)

Kathleen Eagle said...

I think lots of people miss the Oscars this year. It was pretty low-key. My guy Jon Stewart didn't seem to have a lot of material, and the nominees weren't necessarily talked up movies. Most of them were pretty dark. I haven't seen Juno or There Will Be Blood yet. Or Sweeney Todd. DH wants to see The Other Boleyn Girl next.

Sarah Tieck said...

I just love celebrity stuff ... and pictures are the most fun. I thought Jessica Alba looked pretty. I liked Diablo Cody's dress. And, I liked Helen Mirren's look, too ... So many of the dresses were same-y ... I don't know ... I think Julie Christie looked nice ... and, I don't care what they say, Miley Cyrus is looking too old!!! She's a sweetie and I'd like to see her success continue.