That pretty much describes my sense of humor. Maybe with a pinch of snark. A swirl of sarcasm. Mix together and back away slowly :)
So given my irreverent sense of humor, I'm a sucker for the t-shirts with pithy sayings on them. If left to my own devices, that's all I'd have in my wardrobe, so it's just as well that I hate to shop. That means I'm not often close to temptation.
The writers among us will recognize a few sayings we see emblazoned on other authors' shirts:
--Nothing bad happens to a writer. It's all material.
--Careful. You might end up in my novel.
--In my book, I've already killed you three times.
--Romance Writers: Turning frogs into princes on a daily basis.
--You're just jealous because the voices are talking to ME.
But apparently there are top ten lists for funny t-shirts. Who knew, right? Do any of these yank at your funny bone?
--Hard work pays off in the long run, but procrastination pays off now! (words I live by!)
--In America anyone can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
--Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
--I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's permit.
--I don't need your attitude, I have one of my own.
--Morons enjoy this t-shirt. I'm glad you like it.
--I'm back by popular demand.
--Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver.
--Jesus loves you. But I'm his favorite.
--Jesus is coming. Look busy.
--Don't make me violate my probation.
--Paddle faster. I hear banjos.
--I love cats but I can't eat a whole one.
--If it weren't in the gutter, my mind would be homeless. (Ah, an idea for my hubby's birthday!)
--The police never think it's as funny as you do.
--Half the people you know are below average.
--Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
--I don't have A.D.D. I'm just...Hey, look! A bird! (Do you have to be a teacher to think this is funny?)
--Cancel my subscription. I'm tired of your issues.
--Madness takes its toll. Please try to have exact change.
--...And if I did get smart with you, how would you know?
--Some drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle.
--Save your breath. You'll need it to blow up your date.
--A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Do you have an irreverent saying on a t-shirt, coffee mug, or bumper sticker? If you could special order one of these t-shirts, what saying would you put on it?