Monday, March 17, 2008

Pet Peeves


Posted by Lois Greiman:

Let’s talk about pet peeves.

A while ago a friend asked if anything bothered me. Apparently she thought I was pretty laid back. In fact, there was talk of me being one cat nap short of catatonic. But recently, perhaps because of my impending dotage, I realize there are a whole boatlaod of things that irk the bejeebees out of me. And there is, I have to admit, no logical reason for it.

For instant, it drives me out of my mind when I can hear people eat. Certain members of my family, who shall remain nameless to protect the obnoxious, eat loud enough to cover the approach of a band of elephants. I have to leave the room when they’re masticating. I kid you not. I take my plate and head up to my office where I swear, on particularly neurotic days, I can still hear the food being slurped down their gullets.

Discarded pop cans. I admit that I have, for a long while, been a recycling lunatic, but lately when I find pop cans in the trash I become…. Well, my daughter recently referred to me as the environmental Hunk. It’s embarrassing; green is not a flattering skin tone for me.

Improper use of the English language. Okay, this is really stupid because my own habits ain’t all that stellar. For instance, I’ve never really understood when to use ‘well’ versus ‘good’ and I’m too lazy to figure it out. But a pox on those who make mistakes with the words I do understand! I have a person quite close to me, a person I love dearly, in fact, who uses the word ‘don’t’ incorrectly. As in, “It don’t make no difference.” Makes my toenails curl and my eyes glow.

Why? I don’t know. Maybe cuz I’m nuts. Maybe because I really don’t have enough to worry about. Or maybe because I have so many problems myself that gnawing on stupid little things like grammar makes me feel better about me. I’m not sure, but I do know that I recently threatened to put a fork through my ear if my husband kept breathing into the phone during our conversations.

Abnormal? Probably. But I’m pretty sure I’m not alone with my neuroses. So come on. Don’t leave me hangin’ here. ‘Fess up. What are the fingernails on the blackboard of your life?

www.loisgreiman.com

21 comments:

Helen Brenna said...

Oy. I have so many of them, it's not even funny.

You mentioned 2 of my worst, though, Lois, the chewing and breathing thing. I'm very sensitive to sounds and smells. If someone's tapping their hand or fingernails repetitively - drives me crazy.

Shoot, I'm getting myself all worked up just thinking about it!

Betina Krahn said...

Writers are sensitive types. No doubt about it. We're keyed into the details.

Eating sounds: very bad for me, too. My mother used to chew strawberry and raspberry seeds. CHEW THE SEEDS!!!! Once I realized that was where the noise was coming from I began to anticipate it and dread it. ugh.

Also, rattling popcorn bags in a theater and chewing popcorn loudly. Grrrr.

Also nose picking, plucking, pulling, wiping. . . once you are sensitized to that you see it everywhere, all the time. . . and never want to touch another door handle! Why do so many otherwise intelligent, educated, cultured MEN fiddle with their noses in public????

And Lois, dear, I hear you on the grammar stuff. Some of it drives me crazy. Oddly, not the use of ain't. More things like "I boughten it." AGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Keri Ford said...

It always feels so good to talk about these and get them off your chest!

I hate it when I’m asked what I’m doing when it is clear. As in, I’m reading a book and I’m asked, “what’cha doing?”. I always want to say, “well, lets see, the tv’s off, the radio’s off, and oh, look! There’s a book in my hands! And I’m staring at it! AND turning the pages every now and then!” Come on, they teach that type of reasoning during my little boy’s morning educational tv shows.

makes my fists curl just thinking about it!

Cindy Gerard said...

I guess I'm basically a pretty tolerant type. Not stating that as necessarily a 'good' thing just the way it is. I will, however, get a bit upset if I'm eating out and someone within eye sight drops their dentures into a napkin.:o) Specific. I know but it has happened. Ewwweee.

Michele Hauf said...

I love that others cringe at the sounds of eating and breathing. I have been known to tell my husband in a rather curt tone, "You're breathing again." Poor guy. And I will turn the TV up on occasion to mask the sounds of chewing.

It peeves me when people say they are going to do something, and then don't. I wait for it to happen, but it never does. Did they forget they said it?

It peeves me when the toilet seat is left up. Yes, I'm outnumbered by two guys to one girl, but doesn't matter. Girls rule in this house.

Betina Krahn said...

Oh, I forgot to add: TV commercials that come on twenty decibels louder than the program I'm watching.

Junk mail in general, but especially junk mail that uses my name-- Hi Betina!-- to make it sound like they know me and they expect that it will soften me up enough to actually do whatever they want me to do. . . like sign up for another credit card or travel insurance plan!

People who say Halleleujah and Amen after every religious or quasi-religious statement they hear. Keep it to yourself, brother.

Okay, I'm going to really sound like a "kvetcher" but you gotta give me this one: people who pontificate about books and movies they've never read or seen. Especially romance novels. Also people who write online reviews of movies they haven't seen yet!!!

Playground Monitor said...

Amen, sister! Uh... sorry. *g*

One of my biggies is people who get in the express lane at the grocery store with more than 20 items.

And why does Walmart have twenty-something check-out lanes and only 4-5 of them open? Why not just put only 4-5 in the store and use the savings to drop the price of bread?

Marilyn

Candace said...

My pet peeve (and it irks the hell out me) are so-called objective newscasters who use loaded words that are anything but objective. What ever happened to reporting the facts and nothing but the facts, and letting us decide for ourselves if something is a tragic or heartwarming or inspiring or mind-boggling or whatever.

I also get irked at half-assed "news" reports of things that aren't really news. You know, reporting on something nobody's actually checked into yet to make sure it actually happened. Or reports that are based on speculation and opinion. The Feds MAY lower interest rates and if they do then the stock market MAY go up (or down, depending upon what pundit is pontificating). The suspect MAY have committed the most heinious crime of the century. Gas prices MAY go up. The senator MAY have done whatever or said whatever. The child MAY have been abducted by her father, who MAY be a degenerate monster. Don't tell me what MAY happen or what you think MAY happen (that's gossip), tell me what DID happen and then leave me the hell alone to form my own opinions.

And celebrity gossip as part of a regular newscast. Since when did what Hollywood hearthrob is suspected of hooking up with what other Hollywood heartthrob become legimate news?

Also, the way newcasters refer to Senator Clinton as "Hillary" but call every male in or running for office by their last name irks me, too. Do they not see how condescending that is?!

Other than that, nothing much bothers me. Really.

lois greiman said...

Woo hoo! I'm not alone. I'm with you Marilyn on the Walmart thing. I went to Target yesterday and had to stand in line when there were at least 20 lanes closed.

And...Amen, Betina! :)

Keri, when my kids were little and would foolishly ask what I was doing, I was generally feeding the elephants. I don't think my smart aleck answer helped at all. Cuz after a while they just kept adding to the scenario. "What are you feeding them? How many are there?" Hmmmm

Debra Dixon said...

Lois-- You aren't alone!

I too hate it when there are a bazillion people trying to check out and only two lanes open.

I especially hate it when someone is arguing over a $ 4.24 item. Pay the extra dime already!! Get the line moving.

I hate leaf blower noise, all the time but most especially before noon. Before 9a.m. and I consider getting the shotgun.

Someone in my life who shall remain nameless gets dry skin in the winter and scratches his shins but won't use any lotion!!

Okay I'd better stop. The list is long and distinguished.

Betina Krahn said...

Ooh,ooh-- leaf blower noise! I'm with you Deb! Had a neighbor in Minnesota who used to fire his up at about 8:00 on Saturday morning. Wanted to choke him with the Speedos he wore to cut his lawn!

And the news, Candace-- loaded words and all the chit chat and pontificating is like whetstone, grinding us down. . . or making us sharper? Hmmmm.

And the politics, politics, politics. These days some of the announcer/commentator/news hosts (?)are bringing the same gossipy tone to political news that they do to Hollywood's latest scandal and hook-up news. I don't know if I can take another eight months of this. Can't I just vote now and get it over with?

Oh, I forgot. I'm in Florida, where my vote doesn't count.
Grrrrrrrrr.

Playground Monitor said...

You mean they haven't un-hung those chads yet?

I'm peeved about this super-delegate stuff. Why did we use taxpayer money to hold primaries if those results can be negated by super-delegates?

My state ticks me off because we're the only state in the union to ban the sale of vibrators. For God's sake, we have real problems and they're legislating what people do in the privacy of their homes.

Christie Ridgway said...

Family peeve: Son 2 leaves his towel on the floor of his room! Grrr. The way our routine is now is that I don't realize it until he's already left for school.

Public peeve: Men (and it's almost always men) who leave their shopping cart in the middle of the grocery aisle as they wander off to pick something from a shelf, not aware that no one else can get by. Women will move their cart to the side before doing such a thing.

I must be in a cheery mood today because those are the only ones I could think of!

Liza said...

It drives me crazy when people talk with their mouth full of food. I also can't stand when people smack their chewing gum. Keep your mouth closed if there is something in it.

The Walmart/Target checkouts also drive me crazy. They either have 3 lanes open or only have the self check lanes open. I don't get any money from these stores, so I don't think I should have to check myself out in the store.

Playground Monitor said...

Speaking of shopping carts -- what about the inconsiderate jerks who can't be bothered to put their cart in the cart slot but leave them in a parking place. Makes my blood boil.

And riddle me this. Why could the clerk get all my groceries in my 3 cloth bags today when she would have used 3-4 times that many plastic ones?

Helen Brenna said...

Okay, you guys got me going.

People who don't pick up their dog's messes.

Tailgaters.

People who sit in the passing lane going EXACTLY the speed limit.

I better quit, or I'll be at this for a while.

Linda said...

Oh goody, a chance to vent! Woo Hoo!

Family: DH falls asleep in the middle of channel surfing, I get hooked on whatever he landed on. Then he wakes up and changes the channel without even noticing I'm watching the show. Argh.

Ditto, Helen, people in the passing lane going the speed limit. We've got two lanes part of the way going up our mountain and sometimes folks just sit in that left lane going the same speed as the person in the right lane.

Phone manners: I'm on the phone and the person on the other end puts me on extended hold to take another call or to do something that could wait until we're finished talking. I'm not a long winded phone person, in fact I'm not all that fond on being on the phone, period. So why couldn't they wait 5 minutes?

Well, I feel better. heh heh

Samantha Hunter said...

Hi Lois! (and Deb, and Michelle, Betina, and everyone!).

Hard to get around to blogs lately, but making a more concerted effort. :)

Lois, also picked up Unscrewed today, and can't wait to dig in -- love being a few behind so then if I want to have a read-a-thon, I don't have to wait for the next installment. :)

Pet peeves? I'm with you on the loud eating. Also, being late and others being late -- I am kind of a clock fiend.

Aside of that, cell phones in public, especially people holding entire conversations -- loudly -- where otherwise it's relatively quiet (like in the B&N coffee shop).

Sam

lois greiman said...

Samantha, thanks so much. Glad you enjoy my Uns...and that you have pet peeves to share.

Linda, my husband does exactly the same thing. Falls asleep while surfing (sounds like that could be fatal) but it's not...just annoying as hell. :)

flchen1 said...

Wow, Lois, totally! Can't stand eating/loud breathing noises--was just reminding my son moments ago actually, that it wasn't terribly polite to live so loudly... (mean, huh?)

Hate, HATE poor grammar in print (or spoken, but the print thing bothers me more)...

I'm not sure if this counts as a pet peeve, but parents who stand around not parenting (while say, at the playground, for instance)--if your child spits on my child and then laughs, I really think you ought to step up and say something. Argh!! And please just get off your cellphone!

Anyway, thanks for letting me unload :)

Michele Hauf said...

The grocery lines. Aggh! Our Target has been peeving me lately. THey have like 20 lanes, and usually had a couple open at either end. I always park at the end I know I'll be checking out at. (Yes, I'm slightly anal.) But now they've started only having lanes in the middle open! So you have to walk either way!