Kathleen: About that sweat lodge...

This is not a Native American sweat lodge. How can you tell? It's covered with plastic.








This is definitely not a Native American sweat lodge. It's not a even a Native American style sweat lodge. This is the structure used recently in Arizona during a "spiritual warrior" event that resulted in 3 deaths. I heard and read the "Native American" reference over and over again in the news reports. Call it New Age (whatever that means) or motivational magic or self discovery, but I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that what you see here bears little resemblance to Native American tradition and that reporters and self-help gurus alike should refrain from adding insult to injury by drawing any kind of comparison between American Indian ceremonies and the kind of activity that went on at the Sedona retreat.

I've written about Lakota ceremonies in many of my novels. I'm not Lakota, and I've never participated in inipi--the sweat lodge ceremony--but my husband and my sons have. I've been present. I've heard the songs and the prayers, but always from the outside. (Heck, I've been known to faint in a steamy bathroom.) I've been to Sun Dance, which is truly a moving experience.

This is a Native American sweat lodge. Yes, it's a little old, but it's authentic. They're still made this way. It's a willow frame covered with tanned hides or canvas. Maybe some blankets, but they tend to drip. No plastic. Plastic doesn't breathe. Notice the size. Clyde says he's never been in a sweat lodge with more than 10 participants, and usually not that many. Not just anybody can run a sweat in Indian Country, and no one pays to attend. People contribute food, and they might bring a gift of tobacco, sage or sweetgrass. Holy Men (aka, medicine men) do not charge fees. Ever. Traditional Lakota ceremonies like inipi and hanbleceya (the vision quest, to which guru James Arthur Ray has also tried to lay claim) are not part of a for-profit enterprise. Lakota spirituality is not for sale. If you're paying $10,000 for your "spiritual warrior" experience, it has nothing to do with Native American tradition. I'm not saying you won't get anything out of it, but buyer beware. And seller, be honest. And reporter, for heaven's sake, tell it like it is.

Why do I broach this subject here in the convertible? I spoke of Snopes a few days ago--a fact-checking site that helps us separate fact from fiction. I've blogged about stereotypes in the past. We're readers and writers here. Of all the cultures that are part of our American "melting pot," native cultures seem to be the most fictionalized.

I love fiction. Love it. Read it all the time. I can find more truth in 200 pages of good fiction than a week's worth of cable news. And I'm a news junkie. How about you? What kind of truth do you find in fiction? What kind of truth does a writer try to bring to her fiction, and how does she achieve that? And what about facts? Are they getting lost in this Age of Information?

I've got another autographed copy of IN CARE OF SAM BEAUDRY for one of our commenting passengers today. (Sam's brother, Zach, is coming to a store near you December 1 in ONE COWBOY, ONE CHRISTMAS.)

So Kathleen's like, "That's apostrophe abuse!"

The list we've all been waiting for is finally out. Most annoying expressions. According to a recent survey, the winners (?) are: #5 at the end of the day; #4 anyway; #3 It is what it is; #2 you know; and the #1 totally most annoying phrase is...Whatever. Or What! ev-aarrr. Apparently whatever annoys more Midwesterners than Northeasterners. I know I'm sick of hearing it roll off the tongue of one particular 5-year-old female.

I hesitate to proceed, knowing that whenever I stick my English teacher nose in the air I'm sure to trip over my own feet at least once in the ensuing diatribe. But I got nuthin' else this week. Here goes.
Cliches used in the media. Fun stuff. We all use cliches. Lord knows my head is full of them, and they do ooze out. The above small print puts at the end of the day at the top of the list. The other one that's beginning to get to me is thinking out of the box. (Where else is a square like me supposed to do her thinking?) And That said... Is there another transition out there somewhere? Just for fun what cliche or catch phrase would you strike from the airwaves if you could? How about from the printed page?

Onward. I haven't entered the Face Book world yet, but if and when I do, I'm going to check out the one called "I Live In Reading...Fear Me." A guy (after my own perverse heart) goes around taking pictures of grammatically incorrect signs and posts them on what is becoming a very popular site. I got this one from Google images. The apostrophe is the most tortured punctuation mark alive. (Yes, my children, they're alive!) In my younger, more insufferable days I tried to interest a waitress in removing a misplaced apostrophe from the menu. I actually tried to explain the difference between plural and possessive. My next heroine will be a waitress who has me for a customer. She will serve up a single French fry on a plate.

But seriously, writers and readers, I do think grammar matters. The media is falling down on the job. Why, just this evening I sat up in horror when David Gregory uttered "Take your hand off of me" on The Daily Show. Granted, he was quoting his son, but still... Off of is one of those nails on chalkboard utterances. What's happening to our models?

My daddy was a stickler for proper grammar. I don't believe in keeping kids from expressing themselves, but I do believe in gentle correction. We don't talk baby talk in our house, but we do talk. Complete sentences from birth on. And when I turn on the news, I want...well, news would be nice, but I expect the talking heads to communicate effectively, and that requires a working knowledge of English grammar along with an extensive vocabulary. They should know that a word like unique doesn't need a modifier. You can't be more unique. You try to; you don't try and. What is often times? If something is the same as something, it's the same. Exact same? Exact opposite? Come on. In this age of "speaking in thumbs" we're either firing vowel-less code into cyberspace or we're throwing out five words when one will do. What does "at this point in time" mean? Anything like now? When did utilize become the mark of an educated speaker? Does it sound better than use?

I'm not proposing stilted dialogue. Conversation should be relaxed. In our books, dialogue should be true to character. It should sound like people talking. But writers and reporters, pundits and people in the public eye should know the rules before they break them. We all indulge in lazy speaking and writing sometimes. But what's wrong with raising the bar? Children need models of good grammar. Heck, we all do. Becoming aware of the meaningless phrases, the tired cliches, the tortured construction and misused punctuation is half the battle. And it's a lifelong endeavor. English teachers screw up, too.
But you put that lesson in your toolbox, and you drag it out when you need a Friday blog post.

What are your least favorite commonly used expressions? Your language peeves? Your personal pitfalls (Damn you, lie and lay!) or funny flubs?