Kathleen On Changing Her Ways

I'm set in my ways. I change my ways periodically, but it takes concentrated effort, and then I get set again. I seem to be an all 'er nuthin' kind of gal, and it bugs me. Changing is so hard.

So I'm thinking about making changes lately and what I have to do to accomplish each one.

For one thing, my writing habits. Does anyone else have this problem? I have to be in my space. Once I establish the space, I have to have things a certain way. In the last couple of years, I've changed space because writing privacy in this house became difficult to achieve. (Reason: little kids.) So I'm like an animal getting to the nest, the dog turning circles before she settles--I have to have everything a certain way in the same space, and if I don't get there by a reasonable time and get settled, the day is lost. Once I'm there, leave me alone. It works pretty well as long as life doesn't mess with me. I'm closing in on finishing the WIP in record (for me) time. But as soon as I finish this one--my life's mantra is "as soon as I get this book done"--I need to make changes. I have to reorganize my time, chores, day. It sounds so easy. (Now that basketball season is over--Yea Celtics!--I should be able to give up TV. Except for Stewart and Colbert.) For one thing, I need to save the newspaper for the end of the day. But Coffee and newspaper first thing in the morning is such a habit with me. And it I give it up in the morning, I might lose touch with the world entirely, right? I stopped doing e-mail first thing, and now I seem to avoid it for days on end. I stopped getting on the phone, and now I don't call anyone unless it's an emergency. All 'er nuthin'.

Anyone else have this problem? I know I can make the ol' Kathleen machine function better if I just make a few changes in the habits. I know it's a matter of behavior modification, and that you have to repeat an action many times before it becomes a habit. But it's so hard! Staying ahead of the curve on laundry and cleaning is major with little kids around. Workin' on it. Accumulating stuff is one of my lifelong habits, and I'm trying to change that. All 'er nuthin'. I have to stay away from E-Bay and Tuesday Morning entirely or I'm buying just one more doll or do-dad. (I stopped buying dolls a while back, but now it's kids' clothes. My granddaughters have more clothes than they can wear. Okay, they're like live dolls.)

Heck, I successfully lost weight and so far so good on maintaining; pretty much stopped biting my fingernails; wrote the first book on a new contract on deadline (and I set ridiculous deadlines this time); didn't spend a ton of time and cash filling flower pots this spring (see writing deadline and all 'er nuthin'--I planted NO pots). Not too bad for an old dog.

Some things I'm working on now: time management, work habits, exercise, shopping habits. How can I do these things without going to extremes? What tricks do you have for establishing new habits? Are you working on any habits in particular?

Debra - MONKEY DO; MONKEY SEE

Lois’ post about stress and Christie’s comment about her mantra made me think it was time for me to review some simple questions. Simple but hard. Why? Because I have recently adopted a mantra from one of the three famous Monkeys—See no evil.

What’s the evil? Time slipping away from me. Valuable minutes and even ::gasp:: hours have slipped away from me and I’ve looked the other way. That’s so much easier than facing the problem. Well, no more! It’s time for me to shape up in the time department.

All of you know how generous...ahem…I am, so I’m sharing my little chat with myself with you. I thought you might as well suffer…ahem…benefit from this review as well.

Dixon’s Responsible Self: “Yo, dude. When did you stop jotting a list of tasks and goals for the day? You’ve got paper squirreled away everywhere. You’ve got one-hundred and forty-two pens. Thirty-seven mechanical pencils, crayons and umpteen computer programs.”

Dixon’s Monkey Self: “lalalalalalala I’m not listening. Can’t write goals. That’s dangerous. If Monkey see, then Monkey do! Where’s the procrastination in that?”

Dixon: “Don’t you know that folks who write down their goals are more likely to succeed?”

Monkey: “That whole Yale story about the 5% of the class who had written goals ending up with a net worth more than the other 95% of the class put together is a myth.”

Dixon: “Ah, I see you’ve had time to Google and go to Snopes.com where you can get confirmation and details on all the internet and urban legends. Do you really have to Google every thought that comes into your head?”

Monkey: “I’m a writer. Information is how I expand the muse. I need to know what’s out there. I’ve got to stay in touch with popular culture.”

Dixon: “Oh, please. Don’t pretend Britney’s plight or the industry gossip out there is so vital to your career that you need to spend an hour a day visiting blogs and websites. Gossip and intrigue are a great time waster. Even hurtful maybe. Do you really have to read it all?”

Monkey: “No. And to prove it, look…I’m exiting Mozilla Firefox, my browser and…wait! Go back! Look! Harlequin just bought the Empire state building and they’ve hired 16 more editors from two other publishers that closed six imprints. Christian paranormal erotica is suddenly big, and Nora just got a gazillion dollar contract. See!! I told you this is important stuff.”

Dixon: “You wouldn’t know important it if bit your monkey’s uncle. Seriously, just stop piddling right now and do one task. Any one. Something small just to get you started.”

Monkey: “Just one? Okay, that’s easy. I can write this check for dues.”

Dixon: “Excellent. Write faster. It doesn’t have to be perfect. Really. The world isn’t going to end if you complete tasks without worrying about what everyone else will think. Just get it done.”

Monkey: “Well. That was easy. Maybe I’ll do my email now.”

Dixon: “Arrgh!! No! And while we’re on that subject, use the #!$@! delete key for a change. Do you REALLY REALLY have to send one more email to respond to someone by saying, ‘Thanks again!’ ? For the love of chocolate, woman, cut the cord.”

Monkey: “But—“

Dixon: “No buts. You will never get your time back. Ever. Give yourself a chance to enjoy life. Get things done. Play later without guilt. It’s all the rage. Trust me.”

Monkey: “Well, you are me.”

Dixon: “Ha! You used to be me. The me that used to tackle the hard things and get them out of the way for the day. Everything else was a downhill slide. Let’s do that again. That was fun.”

Monkey (pensive for a moment): “Hmm. Monkey do; Monkey see movie?”

Dixon: “Now you’re getting it!”

SO…have you spoken with the Monkey on your back lately? Mine has a new mantra: Today I can accomplish many things with ease because I’m focused on seeing a movie later.

What’s your monkey? Or your Mantra? (And then get back to productive work!)