The other day I had a epiphany. Okay, not so much an epiphany as a thought. It barely even hurt. We're built differently, women and men. Probably intentionally. And not just in the plumbing department.The difference I'm talking about here is the general operating mode. Have you noticed that men are compartmentalizers. They dissect and separate things to be able to concentrate on them. They shut down all extraneous thoughts, subjects, and feelings in order to focus on achieving results and making progress in one area or on one task. They don't like to be distracted or confused by having several topics or additional tasks or unnecessary commentary introduced while they're still trying to get THE FIRST THING finished.
They're linear. And sequential. And compartmentalized. They don't like details from one part of their life slopping over into another and making things. . . complicated. They don't like dragging memories and old conflicts and previous missteps into the middle of current conflict, muddying the waters. They hate arguments that start with a single pair of underwear on the bathroom floor and end up in a review of four, ten, or twenty years of inconsiderate behavior, boorish personal habits, and family resentments. Their general approach to life is: keep it logical, separate, and simple. (In everything but food-- where they're likely to mix all kinds of things together just to up the "gross" factor and freak out the females in their lives.)
One thing at a time, lady. Make up your mind.
Does any of this sound familiar to you? Remind you of anyone you know?
Women are multi-taskers and syncretizers and synthesizers. They love nothing more than connecting and bringing things together. . . whether it's fashion accessories with outfits or lovelorn friends for dates or volunteers for a charitable cause. We like mixing things. . . our thinking is more often circular than linear. . . we keep coming back to the same areas and ideas, expanding and elaborating on them with each reitteration. We like having "input" and talking about solutions and gathering concensus. . . we want to draw our circle wide and include as much as possible. It's not just the end result that's important, it's the pleasure of having accomplished something together with a group.
We can't help bringing emotions to the table and drawing parallels with former incidents and encounters. . . we're keepers of our families' pasts and of our own accumulalted common wisdom. (There is a very good reason Wisdom is portrayed in scriptures as a "she.") We have to be able to listen to and for children while working on a task and simultaneously planning for the dinner or the evening or even the week ahead. To us, a solution that hasn't taken into account peoples' feelings is just not a complete solution! We think in circluar, encompassing, inclusive terms, and we spend our lives combining and connecting and consoling.
Is is any wonder we make men crazy?
But it struck me, as my mind circled and meandered and multi-tasked, that to have a balanced and functional society, we need both. The compartmentalizers and the multitaskers, the linear and the circular, the dissectors and the synergizers. We balance each other and contribute wonderful, necessary differences to the common dialogue and the common flow of events.
It's not a matter of either/or. It's a matter of both/and. Both are vital to our survival as individuals and as a species. So why do we spend so much time bemoaning the differences instead of celebrating them?
I don't know about you, but there are times that I'm tickled pink to hand over a task and stay out of the way until "Mr. Linear" thinks it through and gets it done. Like taxes. And pluming repairs. And computer problems. I go homicidal after 30 minutes on hold with tech support. Fortunately, the Pool Boy has patience out the wazoo for such things. Don't know how he does it. Don't want to know. I'm just grateful beyond belief that he does it!
So what's your favorite difference? What do you appreciate about the males of the species that is unique to them? Aside from the OBVIOUS anatomical stuff, of course. What is the "difference" that makes you say VIVA!
And if you can't think of anything to apprecicate. . . how about your favorite annoyance. Like "Mr. Spontaneous" in the picture above. . .