Monday, September 06, 2010

What's Your Excuse?

I missed my blog date last week. What's worse, it's my second forget in just a few weeks. I could go into a lengthy explanation about being back to school, training a new aide, getting used to a new principal...but wait a minute. Is that an explanation or an excuse? Because I'm sort of out of patience with excuses. Even my own.

It seems like every political or Hollywood figure who screws up feels the need for a very public mea culpa. And the sorry doesn't linger nearly as long on their lips as the excuses for their behavior do. Our newest is Kanye West's 'I bled hard' self-indulgent bleat about how much his egregious behavior last year at the Video Music Awards has cost him, in terms of his reputation, career and clothing line. Umm, I don't know about you but that sounds a lot more like self-pity than anything else. Note to Kanye: an apology via twitter lacks a little something in sincerity. And blaming his behavior on a 'lil alcohol' really doesn't sound like someone accepting responsibility for his actions.

But perhaps I'm judging him too harshly. Excuses are everywhere in our society. Don't believe me? Ask teachers about their favorites from kids who haven't done their homework. ("My sister threw up on it" currently tops my personal favorite list). Ask bosses who can't get their employees to show up to work. Better yet, check out some of the more creative ones I found below:

Excuses for breaking a date/relationship:

My friend told me that after a while a couple starts to look like each other. I think I need to break up with you before that can happen.

Tonight I have to shave the cat..

Excuses for accidents:

A pedestrian came out of nowhere, hit my car and now he’s under it.

The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

School excuses:

Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.

Excuse me for not doing my homework, its cause you ASKED me to do it, you didn't TELL me to do it so I thought it was optional.

Excuses for being late:

I was still waiting for the tooth fairy.

I was harvesting my crops on Farmville.

I have no excuse for being late, I was honestly just too drunk to wake up.

I'm not late. I decided to change my hours to make them more convenient.

Your wife didn't have my breakfast ready on time.

I saw you weren’t in the office so I went out looking for you.

The bed was warm. The car is cold. It seemed like a no-brainer.

Excuses for sleeping at work:

This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to.

Whew! Guess I left the top off the white-out. You probably got here just in time!

Excuses for not going to work:

I'm having problems with my eyes - I can't see coming in.

I won't be in today because I have come down with Spring Fever.

I used up all of my sick days, so today I'm calling in dead.

I dreamed that I was fired so I didn’t bother to get out of bed.

I woke up feeling so good today I decided to call in well and do something else.

If it is all the same to you I won't be coming in to work. The voices told me to clean all the guns today.

What do you think, do we make too many excuses? Whose excuses are you most tired of hearing? Is there a difference between an excuse and a reason? And most importantly, will you accept my excuse for being late if I promise to do better in the future?


Cindy Gerard said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cindy Gerard said...

Fun post Kylie and yes, you're excused. I know what your schedule is and i don't know how you keep up with anything!

I've been known to toss around a few excuses myself -er ... reasons for not getting something done. I think we all have those moments but as long as they are isolated moments and we keep on top of things, I'm all about forgiveness.

I'm a brunette but several years ago when I was still working outside the home as well as writing, I had gone to a new hairdresser to have my hair highlighted. BIG mistake. The highlight turned into a raging, garish, barfly, peroxide blond. (Not a pretty blond like so many of my friends were.) I was mortified but I went to work the next day. Of course i got a lot of grief from my 'buddies' at work. One of them said, "I'm surprised you showed up for work today looking like that." My response was: "What was I supposed to do? Call in blond??"
Somehow, I don't think that would have worked for my supervisor :o)

9:43 AM

Helen Brenna said...

Fun post, Kylie. You do have an amazingly busy schedule. REASONS, I think, for things slipping through the cracks.

And as I sit here typing this I just realized tomorrow's my day to blog. LOL Almost forgot!

KylieBrant said...

Lol, call in blonde, I love it! I've had to take water pills for over twenty years because of edema. Prior to the medication, I'd wake up in the morning with my eyes swollen shut, my face, hands and feet blown up...I had to wear clothes and shoes a size bigger to go to work. Like I told a friend, "I can't call in ugly!"

KylieBrant said...

If you forget, Helen, you're FORGIVEN, no excuses needed!

Leanne said...

You're excused!:) What a wonderful blog. I liked "The bed was warm. The car was cold. Seemed like a no-brainer to me.":)

Kathleen O said...

I just like using the " I am taking a stress free mental health day"... just another excuse for sick day... But hey what ever works.
Like maybe I just want to stay home in the warm bed and catch up on my reading...Sounds good to me.

Kathleen Eagle said...

Okay, Kylie, the other teacher in the convertible says: Not excused until you entertain me with something better than working like a teacher the week before Labor Day. (Everybody knows that's supposed to be an 80-hour week, right? You teachers get the whole summer off.)

Are you gonna let Cindy show you up with "calling in blond"? Granted, that's hard to beat.

Kathleen Eagle said...

Speaking of working, I have a proposal. How about laborers get Labor Day off and Veterans get Veterans Day off? If you can't spare them that day, pay them time and a half.

Granted it wouldn't help writers, but that's why I can make the proposal.

Michele Hauf said...

I love those excuses, Kylie, and yours is accepted. :-)

I'm really tired of the famous (or mildly famous) husbands who go on TV to apologize for their transgressions against their marriage vows. Please. Like that's going to make it all better? And do we really care? That's a personal matter, and broadcasting it to the nation isn't going to win you any brownie points.

KylieBrant said...

Leanne, the bed one was mine :) Just wish I had the guts to use it someday! I don't think they'd be very understanding!

Kathleen, oh what I wouldn't give to use that one on a cold winter day and just lie in bed with a hot cup of cocoa and a good book!

Kathy, you know too well what the first few weeks are like And for some reason one out of every four new students showed up with an IEP in their hands which complicates things further. But that leisurely summer makes it all worth it. You know...the one we don't get paid for :)

Michele, that's why I love the show 'The Good Wife'. I'd look at those women standing next to the cheating husband who's trying to make himself look like the good guy in the whole thing (when he's a lying cheating louse) and think she's got to be dying inside. The show sort of gives a fictional accounting of what that sort of wife goes through...emotionally and financially. Interesting drama.

Stephenia said...

Kanya - bleh - writing a song about it just confirms he really isn't sorry for his behavior!

Spouses who go on tv to talk about their infidelity - double bleh! It should be a private matter and not discussed in public.

I think it is their intent that I get impatient with. I think they are only sorry that they got caught and not that they acted the way they did!

We all make honest mistakes, but that is just not the same as those mentioned above!