Tuesday, May 04, 2010

Just for grins and giggles.

I was watching TV a while back and stumbled on to an old tape of George Carlin doing one of his many routines. It's hard to believe we lost this amazing mind and talent almost 2 years ago now. As a kid, growing up and laughing at the comedy of acts like The Smothers Brothers (anyone remember them??), Dick VanDyke, George Gobel and many others, Carlin was always in the mix. Somehow, his humor always drifted a little higher than the other comedians because he was so spot on right in his observations and so crafty and funny in both his delivery and his material.

Anyway, I thought I'd share some of his more notable quotes just for grins and giggles. Here goes.

As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything.

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.

Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.

I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.

I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose ... it'll be much harder to detect.

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen are defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted and musicians denoted?

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.

The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, some where, some one said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done."

There is no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?

When someone asks you, 'A penny for your thoughts,' and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?

How about you? Do you have any favorite Carlin lines? Any favorite comedians who never failed to make you laugh?

Any guesses as to who said the following lines:

1) Do you ever feel like the world is a tuxedo and you're a pair of brown shoes?

2) I'm a wild and crazy guy.

3) Mom always liked you best.

4) Take my wife ... please

5) There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl

6) God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately, not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.

7) I don't get no respect!


Playground Monitor said...

1) Do you ever feel like the world is a tuxedo and you're a pair of brown shoes? George Gobel (such a droll delivery he had)

2) I'm a wild and crazy guy. Steve Martin

3) Mom always liked you best. Tommy Smothers

4) Take my wife ... please. Either Henny Youngman or Alan King

5) There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl. Joan Rivers

6) God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately, not enough blood supply to run both at the same time. The inimitable Robin Williams

Carlin quote: Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

I used to love his "hippy dippy" routines -- Al Sleet, the hippy dippy weatherman and Al Pouch, the hippy dippy mailman. He was considered SO radical in his day and now, he seems tame in comparison.


7) I don't get no respect!

Playground Monitor said...

Forgot to answer #7: Rodney Dangerfield of course!

And I just love Jeff Foxworthy. He always makes me laugh.

If you refer to the fifth grade as 'my senior year' you might be a redneck!

Kathleen Eagle said...

Ah, Cindy, you've featured one of my favorites. Carlin was brilliant. He had a love affair with language, and he knew human nature. I always think of him when I open a loaf of bread. He had a bit about people going two or three slices in, and he said something like, "What are we thinking? Leave the stale slices for the wife and kids?"

Leanne said...

Dang, you quick girls beat me to the punch! I HEART GEORGE CARLIN! I so wish he was still around. GREAT blog! THanks for the grins!:) xo, Leanne

Helen Brenna said...

I love George Carlin, too. He was one comedian who never failed to make me laugh. AND think!

Kathleen Eagle said...

Marilyn, I like Foxworthy, too--hubby and dear daughter *love* him--but a little bit of "Blue Collar Comedy Tour" goes a long way with me. I don't much like Ron White.

Ah, Lonesome George. Gobel was Daddy's favorite.

As a little kid I loved Jack Benny, Red Skelton, Victor Borge (remember his punctuation routine? You can see bits on YouTube)and later the Smothers Brothers and Laugh-in.

Playground Monitor said...

The only part of Ron White I like is "You can't fix stupid."

I grew up on Klem Kadiddlehopper and Freddy the Freeloader. I still love that punctuation routine.

Anyone remember Norm Crosby? He used malapropisms for humor such as "This is unparalyzed in the state's history" or "He wanted to learn to speak better so he took electrocution lessions."

lois greiman said...

You picked my favorite comedy guy, Cindy. Just listened to him recently, in fact, but I remember him from when I was a kid.

There's some good young talent coming out, but the names have escaped my little brain.

Christie Ridgway said...

Love George Carlin! Over wknd I caught part of a biography show on Rodney Dangerfield. What an interesting man. Heavy partier into his 70s. Tommy Smothers spoke and said he could outparty rock stars. Another comedian said that he met him when he was in his 20s and Dangerfield was in his 60s, I think, and he couldn't keep up.

Cindy Gerard said...

Marilyn - you know your comics! Great job

Cindy Gerard said...

LOL Kathy. He truly was a man who knew how to manipulate words!

And Leanne - I agree. I heart George too :o)

Cindy Gerard said...

Helen - that was part of what made George so unique. He always made a person think.

Kathy - Foxworthy is one of the few truly clean funny comics performing today. He always makes me laugh. And while he gets to be a bit much sometimes, I kinda like Ron "Tater Salad" White.

Cindy Gerard said...

Marilyn - yes! Norm is great.

Lois - I have XM radio on my computer and car and there are several great comedy stations I often listen to. some truly wonderful new comedians playing there plus they replay old Smothers brothers and Steve Martin (my fav) routines from time to time.

One of my favs on the circuit today is Kathleen Maddigan. LOVE her

Cindy Gerard said...

Christie - I love watching the biography channel. I'll have to watch for the Rodney replay.

Terry Odell said...

Thanks for the memories and the giggles.

Deb said...

Hi, Cindy. I think Jeff Dunham can be funny, especially with his dummy Achmed the Dead Terrorist.

Jeff Foxworthy is funny, too.

The Christian comedian Tim Hawkins is hilarious.

Cindy Gerard said...

You're welcome, Terry

And Deb - I like all those people too. There's a woman - tall slim, middle aged. she talks about her husband - refers to him as "Left Brain" Can't think of her name but she's a riot!!

Playground Monitor said...

Jeanne Robertson -- she's the one who calls her husband "Left Brain." There are a few You Tube videos of hers out there. Look for the one about the grocery list. I laughed til I cried.

I had to let my XM radio subscription lapse. :-( I loved those comedy stations. That's where I heard Jeanne Robertson's comedy first (well, I actually heard her when she was selected as Miss North Carolina -- my home state -- and then was Miss Congeniality at the Miss America pageant).

Kathleen Eagle said...

Oh, just remembered one of my favorite routines--Abbott and Costello's "Who's On First?" My older son did the Costello part with the Shade Tree Players when he was about10. The original--in case you haven't seen it--is about a 6 minute ride on YouTube. Classic!

KylieBrant said...

Ah, I miss Carlin. Of all the comedians out there he always seemed so much more intelligent in his observations. My introduction to him was in Semantics class, an English elective when I was in 10th grade. My teacher played his bit for us using sh**. It was quite radical at the time, and to be able to hear it in school! But a lesson I've never forgotten, which still has meaning today as we see the deterioration of language and civility, not to mention the way certain words are used politically.

Cindy Gerard said...

thanks, Marilyn. Jeanne Robertson is right

Kathy - loved Abbott and Costello.

Kim - this explains a lot about you. You're 10th grade teacher lead you on the road to corruption ;o)