Tuesday, May 04, 2010
I was watching TV a while back and stumbled on to an old tape of George Carlin doing one of his many routines. It's hard to believe we lost this amazing mind and talent almost 2 years ago now. As a kid, growing up and laughing at the comedy of acts like The Smothers Brothers (anyone remember them??), Dick VanDyke, George Gobel and many others, Carlin was always in the mix. Somehow, his humor always drifted a little higher than the other comedians because he was so spot on right in his observations and so crafty and funny in both his delivery and his material.
Anyway, I thought I'd share some of his more notable quotes just for grins and giggles. Here goes.
As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything.
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose ... it'll be much harder to detect.
If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen are defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted and musicians denoted?
Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.
The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, some where, some one said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done."
There is no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?
When someone asks you, 'A penny for your thoughts,' and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
How about you? Do you have any favorite Carlin lines? Any favorite comedians who never failed to make you laugh?
Any guesses as to who said the following lines:
1) Do you ever feel like the world is a tuxedo and you're a pair of brown shoes?
2) I'm a wild and crazy guy.
3) Mom always liked you best.
4) Take my wife ... please
5) There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl
6) God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately, not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
7) I don't get no respect!