Monday, April 26, 2010

Guest – Kathryn Magendie

(Help us welcome Kathryn Magendie, who “was born a West-by-god Virginia Hillbilly (and proud of it), moved here, there, and yonder," before landing in "Western North Carolina, where she spins tales, drinks Deep Creek Blend coffee, an occasional vodka tonic with lime, and contemplates the glow of Old Moon.” Seriously, that’s her public bio. )

Dear Cheesecake:

Didn’t I tell you not to come round here no more? Didn’t I tell you I couldn’t resist your charms? And do you listen? No. You flaunt yourself in front of me—all luscious and tasty, decadent and . . . and . . . You Yankee You! Why would this West Virginia born Hillbilly fall for a rascal from New York? Smooth . . . oh you are smoooooth.

Yes, yes, I know; I’ve called upon your charms in the darkest hours of my sad and lonely *heavy sigh* writing life. You were there while I wrote Tender Graces; you were there when I released that baby to the world—I thought I could just walk aw ay, but there you were again those long lonely minutes and hours and days and weeks and months while I wrote Secret Graces. My friend, you were, through those two books and beyond. Not asking anything of me but for the enjoyment of you. My muse, you were. My sweet writing muse.

When Secret Graces flew out of my hands and out to ever ever land, there came the fateful day I stretched my bones, sighed with a job done, and changed out of my writing pants, those loose and dreamy pants that have no defined waist. But wait. What is this?, I screamed. Unnggghhh. Unggghh. Why is not my zipper zippering? My button buttoning? You . . . you . . . you betrayer of waistlines! I thought I could consume you without consequence! Through two books you were my best buddy, and this is what becomes of that great friendship? Oh heaviest of sighs!

You won. Is that what you want to hear? With your silky voice calling. With your soft yet firm outer crust molded against the springform pan. The cream cheese! The vanilla! The touch of lemon zest! The thousands of tiny granules of sugar! The eggs—both golden yolk and slippery whites. And, you devil you; you even added a thin fine layer of sweetened sour cream on top, and then . . . oh then . . . you scamp; you held atop fresh plump strawberries oozing sweet red love.

And I, unsuspecting, tappity tapping away upon the computer. Creating my fiction worlds where my characters can eat whatever they want and run around gleefully, yippee yi yo kai yayyy . . .and all the while my own butt is slammed against a chair, spreading ever onward! Because of you, Cheesecake.

Time after time—Tender Graces draft, Tender Graces rewrites, Tender Graces Galley, Tender Graces released, lather rinse, repeat with Secret Graces—I dipped my knife in hot water, and then sliced into you. You offered no resistance. One side, then another side, then I lifted a piece of you onto my plate. Then, with my fork, I cupped you onto the tines. And the first perfect bite as the creaminess spread across my tongue.

And now, now I cannot sit at my computer to craft the next book without the Pavlov’s Dog’s response to you, Cheesecake. Again and again and again—you and me Cheesecake, you and me.

I go mad with you, Cheesecake. Yet, you rogue, you tempter, you sweet sweet sprite. You wild wonderful Muse, you. Please say you will not call to me each time my butt slams against the chair and my fingers poise on the keys and the refrigerator hummmmms . . .

Please say you will quieten the siren call of your sweet succulent love.

As ever, you know I am yours and you are mine. Damn you.


Kathryn Magendie

Debra here… Kat’s too polite to ask, but I’m not. What food trips you up? Haunts your mind and says, “Oooh baby, come to Mama!”


KylieBrant said...

Very clever, Kathleen! I go for the weird stuff. Skittles, Diet Coke, chips...salt and sugar. Desserts, not so much. But I do enjoy a good slice of cheesecake every now and then!

Helen Brenna said...

LOL! Hi, Kathryn and welcome! I'm so glad I don't like cheesecake.

Unfortunately, dark chocolate raisinettes have been hitting the spot lately!

Barry said...

For me it's pies. Warm apple or blueberry pies, ice cream melting on the side.

Of course I also like peach pies and rhubarb pies and cherry pies.

With ice cream melting at the side.

Helen Brenna said...

I meant to add, Kathryn, that I totally get feeling as though inspiration is tied to things like food. Too bad we can't tie it to working out!

lois greiman said...

:) Welcome Kathryn.

What a fun and honest post. For me the temptress changes daily. But salty cashews will probably someday kill me.

Liza said...

Chips and french fries are my downfall. I know they are bad for me, but I just crave them sometimes. I've been good lately, only because I didn't buy any at the grocery store this week.

Leanne said...

What a GREAT post! So clever!:) Had me smiling the whole way through. My food trips? Fried onion rings, Heluvagood French Onion Dip, and chocolate oatmeal cookies....

ficwriter said...

Now you've gone and made me hungry for cheesecake. :)

Kathleen Eagle said...

Kathryn, Welcome!
I'm in the process of trying to kick my sugar addiction. Make no mistake--it's an addiction. I absolutely crave sweet stuff at night. The Daily show, Colbert, and a heaping helping of sugar. Hellllp!

Virginia said...

Welcome Kathryn, I am addicted to about anything with sugar. Chocolate is my favorite or about anything with blueberries! If I could stay away from the sugar I could loose some weight.

runner10 said...

I'll do anything for chocolate!

Sandra Leigh said...

Are you sure we aren't sisters, Kathryn? I have been a cheesecake addict since I was a little girl - and I have the cholesterol count to prove it.

The next time you head up north, do (Oh, please!) come on across the border to Victoria, B.C. and meet me at Pagliacci's Restaurant. They serve a cheesecake that could inspire a whole new series of novels in you, I promise.

And what's this putting Secret Graces out while I was out of commission? Now I'm off to England, and I won't be able to buy it until I get back. Ah, well. Something wonderful to look forward to.

Karen said... are always so witty. I will never look at a cheesecake the same again. :P Good post.

Christie Ridgway said...

Isn't that what's so fun about writing fiction? Characters get to eat and not gain weight.

Me, the writer, turns to chips and other salty foods. I honestly can't have Ruffles in the house...and if I do, I =must= eat them all up or they call to me in that siren's voice all day long.

Kathryn Magendie said...

Kylie -oh! sweet and salty! My fave, too.... :)

Helen -I remember the first, very first, time I ate cheesecake - I was 11 years old at a celebration for my father's friend's son- I was H O O K E D! Oh and I love Raisnettes, too -- You know, some of my best thoughts come from the shower -oh wait, that's still not working out....I work out to STOP thinking *laugh*

Hi Barry! Yup, love pie too *laughing* I have quite the sweet tooth....teehe

Lois - I can't eat many cashews -it's funny - but I think they're too "rich" - isn't that a riot? I'll eat a huge-arse piece of cheesecake with topping but think cashews are too rich *HAW!*

Liza -one of my comfort and "treat" foods is hot salty french fries with only salt on them and maybe, just maybe, dipped in ketchup -- dang, now I want some fries!

Leanne -chocolate oatmeal? Oh, I've never had those before.....crave crave crave!

Hi there 'fic writer' - *smiling* ... I'm glad someone else will help me eat it *laugh*

Kathleen - I have the WORST sweet tooth ever - constantly fighting it - sometimes I eat apple with 1% sugar (yeah! it's really pretty good) spread on it just to have something sweet that's good for me -- dang my sweet tooth's hide!

Virginia - I've been doing Zoomba at the gym in the next town -- *sigh* why oh why does the good stuff have to be so fat'nin'

Runner - isn't is a shame how easy we are *laughing*!

Sandra! england! oh you lucky woman - and do I need a passport to get to the cheesecake *laughing*

Hi Karen! Glad you came by to see my shame *laughing*

All of Y'all -- send any cheesecake you aren't eating to my cove in the Smokies -- I'll be waiting, with my fork ...haw!

Kathryn Magendie said...

Christie -- When he visits South Louisiana, GMR brings home Zapps Cajun Crawtator (or whatever they are called) tater chips - O M G! they are good and the "gumbo" are even better - no, not gumbo flavored, that's just the name of them - and the Tobasco flavored chips are SO good!

Dang it all! now I want chips - what about cheesecake topped with chips...uh maybe not *laugh*

HoneywellLibrarian said...

Pie!!! Anything in a pastry, although I'm very seasonal so now I want lemon bars and fruit crumbles and desserts and less chocolate and nuts. Plus, I'm a not so secret potato chip junkie, but try to stay away from the full fat ones during warm weather 'cause of stomach problems.
Jane Kaufenberg