Birthdays. No, I’m not having one…possibly ever again. I mean, enough is enough, right? Comedian Patton Oswalt says we shouldn’t celebrate every year anyway. That the first ten are good, after which we should go to a ‘just big events’ type of system… the 13th cuz you’re a teenager, the 18th cuz you’re allowed to vote etc. Then after you’re 90, you can celebrate a birthday every day of the week if you’re so inclined. Plus, for each year you live after that you’re allowed to break one law. Shoplifting is acceptable at some point, and I’m pretty sure murder’s okay once you hit 100. I’m not positive of the exact rules. Perhaps they haven’t been finalized with the government yet.
But I digress. I was going to talk about birthday ideas cuz my daughter is turning 21 in May. Twenty-one is a big one, even by Mr. Oswalt’s standards. And I don’t know how to commemorate it. We talked about going to a bed and breakfast, working on our book, and hanging out together. We considered getting drunk. (She doesn’t drink…ever, and I’ve never been intoxicated so it would probably be fairly entertaining…and perhaps a bit disturbing.) We debated taking my mom with us, because she’s not a drinker either and maybe we should get matching tattoos while we’re sloshed. He boyfriend suggested getting her a small caliber pistol, because she’s old enough to carry concealed!
Or… we could go bungee jumping, try steer wrestling, experiment with belly dancing? Sky dive? Ski jour? Shoot skeet?
Man, my mind is fried. Which is why I’m writing this post.
What’s your favorite birthday memory? Was it something big, traditional, romantic, silly, unexpected, simple? At this point of imagination meltdown I’ll welcome any ideas. Help meeeeee!