Hair pulling and mayhem rumored at RWA conference — film at 11

Ah...just enjoying the breath of whimsy from yesterday's guest Sally J. Smith. Those were some mighty neat pictures, eh? If you didn't stop by yesterday, page down and check it out.

Now for my post. I'm feeling kinda...left out. You see, right now the Romance Writers of America Conference is taking place in Washington, DC. It's basically a slumber party for 2000+ women who love to read and write romance. And I'm not there! I feel like I'm missing the party. I want to be there! Sitting in front of the computer all day, typing to make a living is stupid. I want to party!

Ok, that's my rant. But not a very forceful one, even. You see, I've been thinking about all the things I really will miss during the four days of romantic splendor called a 'business' conference.

I'll probably miss out on getting a room mate that snores. Or jabbers all night long. (I like peace and quiet; don't room with me if you're a chatter-box.) 

I'll certainly miss the long line for luncheon, followed by a mad rush to get a seat (but only the one with the most interesting free books piled on that seat) and then I'll miss that rubber chicken with the indeterminable veggies, too. And who ever thought carrot cake was an acceptable substitute for chocolate? Dude, 90% of the attendees want chocolate. Now!

I'll also miss the dreaded 'editor appointment'. In which a writer has five minutes or less to explain why their story is the best thing since sliced bread, including all major plot points, hero and heroine's GMC, theme, setting, reason why the hero must be a vampire when the market is saturated—and why Gerard Butler would be perfect to play him when the movie is made—and to do it all without sweating a drop. (I've never done an editor appt. actually, and feel for anyone who has one. Editor you've never met sitting across the table from you? Scary.)

I'll miss the Literacy Signing where five hundred authors sit in alphabetical order, pitifully waiting for at least one person to show a bit of interest in their stack of fifty books that'll never go down far enough to even reveal the author's face. And I certainly won't miss being seated next to Big Name Author, whose line goes past me and out the door and around half the hotel, and not one of those people in line ever makes eye contact with me as they await the BNA's signature. It's like they think if they don't look at me I won't notice they are not interested in me.  (This happened at RT. I was a few people down the table from Kim Harrison. Hey, at least I had a captive audience. They could hardly refuse my promo when I handed it to them as they passed me by.)

I won't miss the catty glances or whispers followed by more catty looks. I won't even miss the blowups. It seems there's always some sort of drama happening. Well heck, like I said 2000 women in one hotel. You do the math. A blowup is inevitable.

I won't miss the headache I always get from being 'on' all day. I'm a solitary person. I'm an introvert. I don't do crowds. I can smile and fake it for a couple hours, but the punishment is one heck of a headache. Case in point: Last RWA conf. I attended I went to bed early one night with a headache. My roommates snuck in with my agent (whom I hadn't met yet), turned on the bathroom light, and I could hear agent say 'Ah, she's so cute', as she thought I was sleeping. One cannot sleep when they are mortified.  But I didn't pop up and say hello, just prayed they'd leave as sneakily and quickly as they had arrived.

And I won't miss the goodie rooms or free book bonanzas that usually involve shoving, pushing, body parts getting stepped on, and a major lack of politeness.

What I will miss is seeing friends, connecting face-to-face with my editor (who I don't have to impress with a logline in a nervous meeting), and just drawing in the vibes of 'those of my ilk'. It is a great way to refill the well.

Ahh, now I totally feel better. Maybe. A little.

I want to be at the party!

So if you're here at the blog today, you're probably home like me. What won't you miss? What do you miss?

Michele

(are the search engines so going to get me for the title of this post?)