I’ve been AWOL for a couple of weeks. It’s good to be back. I had a book due 3-2 then had to turn right around and complete revisions before 3-18 – much midnight oil was involved. The off shoot was, though, that I got to leave on a 2 week girls trip to Spain as soon as I finished the revisions. That's where I've been.And besides olives and almonds and beautiful country, this is a little taste of what I found in Spain:
This is what else I found – the men there like middle-aged, short, not so svelte American women. One guy even asked me to marry him - he would be content as my second husband. Go figure. I also got my butt pinched 3 times. Yes, really. And I liked it :o) What does that say about me? If that had happened in the States, I’d be screaming sexual harassment. And I'd never have a hero of one of my books pull a stunt like that. So, why was it different in Spain, you ask? Well, I’m still trying to figure that out. My gut says a plethora of reasons come into play. One, I was on vacation and I wasn't going to let anything bother me. Two, it was very playful with NO malice – just a little harmless flirtation. And then there’s the fact that I thought I’d reached and passed my window in time where any man would want to pinch my butt – so, okay, yeah, it was a nice boost to the ego.
Again, if it happened to me here, I absolutely would be ticked, but because it happened over there where life seems so much simpler, less politically correct (dogs ran off leash, oh my), and not nearly as serious as here, it just felt like I was going with the flow. What’s up with that? Is there something wrong with me? What about you all? Would you be offended if someone did that to you? Would it make a difference if he was cute???? Am I just a tramp at heart?
27 comments:
Well, well...I was there were you had your butt pinched, remember? I actually got the impression that youwere having fun! too bad it wasn't me!! I wouldn't be offended... there is no sexual harassment, only a little bit of "hard" flirtation implied in something like that! Of course if the men is cute ... I guess I would play my cards better and who knows...!
Nothing is wrong with you, Cindy, Spain is special when it gets to men,the only difference between Spanish and Italians is that they play the game of flirting with fair play! In Italy they really "mean" it when they pretend to be flirting and they try to get down to business as soon as possible, if you know what I mean!!
I think you gave the perfect idea to the readers of the atmosphere we were breathing around there!!
every one was enjoying being at the center of the men attention, nothing to be ashamed of!!!and remember : what happens in Spain stays in Spain!!!!
I wish your readers could have been there to live with you , like I did, this great adventure!!
Rossella
Hey Rossella! Ciao! We were so very lucky to have you join us for a few days! And yes, the Spanish men (and the Irishmen who gave me the Irish flag) were sweetie pies.
That last question of yours, my dear, is between you and your therapist, LOL!
But yes, there's something about vacation where things don't bother us because it's a time that exists outside time--we're removed from our 'real' world. Hence the existence of the "Girls Gone Wild" videos!
And why is it everywhere you go you've got pictures of handsome men to show for it, hmmmm?
If someone pinched my rear in my hometown (though I have had one creepy man ask if he could feel my backside in my, ahem, healthier days-I said no, btw) I'd be looking to deck someone with my purse.
On vacation? I'd laugh and we'd later laugh about on it over drinks, assuming hubby wasn't there. He probably wouldn't be laughing. Well, and then I probably woudln't have found it funny since I would have to be offended as a good wife, but with just girls, yeah, I'd find it funny.
Glad you and your pinched rear had fun!
There is just something about being on vacation outside of the US that - IDK - lowers inhibitions. I have to say, though, there is something about a man who can flirt. The US men don't flirt, they have no idea how it's done. They feed us lines. They can say the exact same thing that a man in Spain or Italy would say and it would come off as a cheesey line. I think it's the eyes. And the accent. But mostly the eyes.
Hey
A friend of mine had the exact same experience in Spain some years ago. Here at home, guys ignored her: she was a little overweight and self-described as "swarthy." She went to Spain and the Spanish men fell at her feet. And pinched her butt. She loved it. Related story: a friend of mine with an Italian surname toured Sicily with her husband. He is Mr. Tame Non-Violent Metrosexual Guy. But in Sicily the locals assumed he was Mafia. He got tons of respect and free meals.
Hey, when in Rome or Spain, you just go with the flo. NO matter what age, what body type we woman are we just love to have men, especially those swarthy European men, as you say they do it so well, flirt with us and it does our egos good.
YOU GO GIRL!!!
Kylie - Why do I always end up with photos of handsome men? It's a gift. Seriously. I see a cutie and I just go up to him and ask if I can take his photo because he's "gwapo" (that's Spanish for pretty - although I probably misspelled it.) These guys have absolutely no guile. They simply smile and start posing. and pinching :o)
Thanks, Keri. It was fun.
Gundiva. You nailed it. Few US men CAN flirt without expectation. These guys have perfected it to an art form. Even in the leather shops all the salespeople are men - you can usually make a good deal for XX amount of Euros and a kiss. It's too funny and totally harmless.
And yes - the eyes ... woo boy.
Deb - tell your friend I said, "Go sister girl!!"
Kathleen - we spent an evening in an Irish Pub while there. I know, 2 surprises in that statement - me in a pub :o) and an Irish pub in Spain. The truth is a lot of Irish Lads and Lassies make the trip to Costa del Sol in southern Spain because it's a quick flight and it's a very cheap vacation.
ANYWAY, while in the pub these 6 young Irish hunks came in and for some reason were drawn to us 6 'older' women. I think we reminded them of their mums :o) The really nice thing about them is that they weren't embarrassed to just have fun talking with us. It was a lovely cross cultural exchange and I like to think those types of encounters do a lot to dispel the 'ugly American' image. They bought us roses, we bought them beer - and NO the roses came before the beer.
Bottom line, their mother's raised them well and they were nice to us Yanks in a foreign land. It was all very sweet.
Heck, I'd take a pinch any day. Sounds like you had lots of fun! Did you get to listen to any authentic Spanish flamenco music?
It's been SO LOOOONG since my bottom has been pinched that when I saw your title, I thought the subject for today was going to be home cooking. You know, add a pinch of this, a pinch of that! BRAWAHAHAHA
Cindy: We have traveled a lot in Mexico and go to resorts that cater to mostly Mexican families. Very different attitudes when it comes to male-female relationships and it sounds like Spain is similar. Enjoying the opposite sex and sexuality is seen as fun, even wholesome, and doesn't cross a certain line.
We took our extended family to a resort one year that has nightly entertainment and the fam was freaking the first evening...uncomfortable with the tone of the skits and such. By the second night they realized it was all in good fun (never crude) and were clamoring to participate in the "beauty pageants" and the kissing contests (you run around and kiss as many of the opposite sex as you can...on the cheek and no one tries to take it farther!).
The U.S. has those Puritan roots...and I think we see that in attitudes toward our books, too.
BTW, those Spanish men are so cute!
Oh Michele - I've been so anxious to tell you. We went to a flamenco show. Sat in the front row. It was amazing. i still get chills when i think about the passion and the drama and the artistry. I'm a convert now.
Arkansas Cindi - yeah, well, it IS a little about cookin' :o) if you get my drift...
Christie - you are so right. There is an open honesty about sexuality that takes it out of the dark and into the light in a very healthy way. Men and women enjoy each other publicly - and I don't mean groping and such. They flirt. They have fun. It's the same in Italy and it's very enlightening. We are way past our limits in the PC arena here. Takes all the clean fun out of it.
I have a sudden urge to visit Spain....
When I was in high school there was this guy who thought he was seriously hot stuff who constantly pinched my a**. Drove me absolutely crazy.
Today, I'm thinking my next girls trip will be to Spain!!!
AAACK!
I don't know how I feel about this.
I'm thinking that no matter how cute the guy, unless you're married to me or dating me, you can't pinch my butt.
You can flirt. You can whistle but I think I'd get ticked about the butt pinching.
And I didn't know that until today. LOL!
Tori and Helen - I highly recommend Spain and the costa del sol. We made side trips to Morocco where we encountered snake charmers and rode camels and I got my proposal for a 2nd husband. The hotels are right on the Med Sea and it's gorgeous. The best part - cheap. I mean really it was the best travel bargain I've ever had. Check out Sun Holiday Tours if you decide to go.
Deb - I always thought so too - that I'd be ticked. But it happens so fast and they flash that flirty grin and then they're gone and you're just kind of standing there thinking - "did that really just happen?" And then you laugh. Darnedest thing :o)
Yes, Cindy, you are a tramp. Sorry, I just thought someone had to say it since we appreciate it so very much.
Cindy-- So... you're saying I must go to Spain before I'll know for sure.
Okay. I believe you. I'm off to tell hubby I MUST go to Europe immediately. :)
Inquiring minds want to know and questions must be answered!
Ah, Lois. Honesty at last. Thanks, dear friend - from one tramp to another :o)
And yes, Deb. YOU MUST GO. Bon Voyage.
As a matter of fact, i think we should do a topdown remote from Spain :o)
Cindy - Most of the comments you've received are sooo right - it was vacation mentality in the best way, no harm was intended and that night especially still brings a smile to my face. Now, about that bar tender...I love a guy who enjoys his work! And, yes, please bring the blog more memories of the trip. Camels & snakes and Barbary apes, oh my...
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