Monday, November 17, 2008

Too Far?



Lois Greiman

I’m going to post a photo, but please, before you scroll down, be assured that this was NOT my idea. This was not something I sought out or that I, God forbid, would ever approve of. This, my friends, was sent to me by none other than the seemingly innocent Cindy Gerard, the rider (who I once thought of as a sister) who touts herself as ’the grandmotherly type.’

Okay, I admit, I may have had a few ummmm unrefined moments in the past. The Chippendales event does spring to mind. (Frequently.) But I’m beyond that now. Mature. And quite scandalized.

This is the image.

It was sent with the message, “Perhaps this is something you could use for one of your Highland novels.”

What is the world coming to?

Not long ago I received a similar email from another ‘friend’ when I was planning a trip out west. (See image to the...well, you'll figure it out.) It said, “I told you to be careful of those cowboys.”

I’m so sorry to offend our genteel riders, but I felt it was necessary to warn you about some of the smut that may be appearing in your inbox. I also wanted to ask: What have you received via email that has cracked you up? Err, I mean, that has scandalized you?

www.loisgreiman.com


HOT GUY ALERT!!! DO NOT SCROLL DOWN UNTIL YOU'RE QUITE READY.

The little devils, Lois, Betina and Cindy, made me do this (but we can credit my SIL, Diane, for sending it to me!)

How'd you like to snag this guy's line?



Well, well, ladies, is that all you got? :-) You are forcing me to up the ante with my own nekkid guy pic. One of my favs. Hey! It's research, don't you know. Just pretend it's fisher dude up above. He's gotta rinse off afterward. And because I am so very generous, I'll include a link to the site where you can find more nice nekkid dudes in the comments section.

46 comments:

Caffey said...

Oh ouch on that catus!!! LOL.

Well how will you feel, with your last name being 'MORTON' and they forget the 'T' and having the teen/young adults get the mail first and see how they spell our new last name (if you didn't figure it out yet, Morton without the T is moron) and my two having to show all their friends and neighbors around, calling friends and family on phone us what mom's name was spelled like in the mail, before I even get a chance to get home and find out myself why everyone outside seems to be looking at me while I'm walking into the house.

Playground Monitor said...

When the DH first started work as a federal auditor, we just traveled to wherever he was doing an audit and rented a furnished apartment for the duration of the assignment. We had no permanent residence and received all our mail at his office in Atlanta. The address was XXX Whatever Street, 3rd Floor, Atlanta, GA.

One day we got some sort of junk mail and opened it to read "Dear 3rd, We like to make you an offer that you and the other Floors can't refuse."

Talk about dumb!

The cowboy pic reminded me of one sent by my BIL of clown planters with cactus planted in them so it appeared the ceramic clown was well endowed. Or there's the cartoon Santa with jiggling buns my mom sent last week.

Marilyn

Cindy Gerard said...

I THOUGHT I was being a friend by supplying little before seen research on those kilt wearing kind of guys that our Lois so loves to write about. :o)

And look what it gets me. Tagged as an instigator. A purveyor of bawdiness, if you well.

Well, I never ... never seen a man in kilt that is and quite frankly, after seeing this chair, I'm highly intrigued ...

Kylie said...

I've warned you and warned you about Gerard. When I'm not around to keep her in hand, this is the type of behavior that ensues. This and picking up strange men in Atlanta bars for orgies. Posing with a troupe of San Francisco firemen who were *supposed* to be rescuing a five hundred pound man.....I do my part, but I can't watch her 24/7!

lois greiman said...

Moran...I mean Mortan...I am, on occasion, called Gremlin. I don't think it has anything to do with my personality but...

lois greiman said...

Cindy, you're just making things worse for yourself by denying the obvious. You might just as well tell us all your dirty little secrets. Please. :)

Cindy Gerard said...

Hokay. Dear readers. You are much more brilliant and insightful than my fellow riders give you credit for. I mean -- you can see right through their accusations, right?? I am but a scapegoat they've set up to take the fall for their lascivious minds. What better way to deflect the attention from themselves than to point their accusatory little fingers at lil ole me. Really. You see right through their ruse, right?? I know you do. They are the ones who are constantly leading ME astray. They are quite pathetic, really. To be pitied, as it were. Let's just indulge them okay? They have so little else in their lives to make them happy ... well, if you don't count their wonderful families, their extraordinary talent and stellar good looks. But other than that, it's understandable why they have to result to such cheap shots. Poor things.

Betina Krahn said...

Cindy, I believe you're a decent person. Of course I also believe in a "flat tax" and the Easter Bunny. :) May not be quite the rousing endorsement you need in this company!

Meanwhile, nobody sends me questionable stuff. How come? What, am I too goodie two-shoes to get some fun on-line smut?

And Cindy, I HAVE seen guys in kilts. And I have to say, they're right up there with cowboys and their Wranglers and western boots for sexy gear. For proof, think of Gerard Butler in one, striding along. . . au naturale underneath.

See I was at Edinburgh castle just after the spring uniform changeover and yeow! Rearrrrrr. The sight of all those healthy, virile men marching with their great legs and boots and kilts swaying. . . sigh. . . I'm surprised they ever make it down the street without getting attacked! (Travel Tip: The Scottish military brigades don't wear kilts in winter, just ordinary fatigues! Don't go to Scotland before April 1st!)

Debra Dixon said...

I have seen guys in kilts. I encouraged a guy in kilt to get up on Pat Potter's desk and show us what real Scotsmen wore under their kilts.

I was betting on Snoopy briefs. I was wrong. Sadly there was an editor at "butt zero."

It wasn't so much that I was scandalized, but I was the scandalizer. And now Pat Potter's desk is tainted.

lois greiman said...

Betina, such a helpful travel tip. I should have known to ask you about the really important stuff.

Someone sent me ANOTHER email once. I actually can't remember who it was. Anyway, it was a bunch of guys in kilts sitting with the queen, and one of them ummmm decided (inadvertently, I believe) to show the world just what HE wore under his plaid. That really was kind of scandalous. We couldn't really decide if the pic was photoshopped. But it looked real to me.

ALTHOUGH, OF COURSE, CINDY WOULD BE THE EXPERT ON THIS.

flchen1 said...

LOL!! I'll have to wrack my brain for some scandalous e-mail after I finish cracking up!

amy*skf said...

Wait, gimme a moment, I'm still laughing my butt off (if only)

Okay, the best stuff I was ever sent in an e-mail was men in kilts--all "accidentally" showing what they wore underneath. I immediately sent it to Michelle Buonfiglio, who said to me, "You are the second friend today who has sent me a picture of scrotums."

We love our friends and all they have to share with us.

Helen Brenna said...

I'm sending something scandalous to Betina right now. She deserves it. If fact, I think we should all send something to Betina!! LOL

Betina Krahn said...

Helen, your contribution was deliciously tantalizing, and produced not a smidgen of guilt. So, what does that say about me? I have a high tolerance for "hot" and "naughty?"

I've saved it and will use it as inspiration whenever I write a sexy fly-fishing scene.

Hey, it could happen.

I'm writing for BLAZE now!

Cindy Gerard said...

Betina as far as I'm concerned you are the ONLY one I'm sending naughty delights to in the future. I know I can trust you NOT to turn around and blame me for sending you astray.
Lois and Kylie - consider yourself cut out of the loop. No less than you deserve, ladies - I I use that term loosely....

lois greiman said...

Helen, what about me??? Send it to meeeeee. I share. :) Besides, I'm having a bad day/year.

Helen Brenna said...

Okay, okay. I think it's a little too racy for the blog. You decide!

My SIL sent it to me thinking it'd make a great book cover!

Cindy Gerard said...

Here I am accused of all sorts of sordid things and Helen bypasses ME when she sends out her 'too racy for the blog' photos.
It soooo figures

Arkansas Cyndi said...

I've been studying that picture for some time today. It's, um, interesting.

And the "cowboy cactus" Ouch.

I used to have the cactus in the clown planters but I lost it. It was great.

But I have to say...I'm scandalized by visiting here. My pure mind has been tainted. :) So, thanks!

lois greiman said...

Allllright! Helen sent me a ummm unique and ahh awe inspiring possibility for a new book cover. I'll briefly describe then you should all shamelessly beg her to post it. :) It's of a guy fishing. You see him from behind. He's got waders on and well, not a LOT of other clothes.

Come on Helen. It's wrong to be selfish. :)

Helen Brenna said...

Well, you can never call me selfish again, dear Lois. Here he is!

lois greiman said...

Cyndi, you're so welcome. :) But you should really thank Helen...and Cindy, of course, who has ruined us all.

Cindy Gerard said...

Helen -- whoa - what lake in Minnesota has fishermen who dress like that? I would truly love to bait his hook.

Michele Hauf said...

All righty, ladies, I see I might have to raise your nudie pics with one of my own. Though, I am considering if it is too scandalous at the moment. Hmm... Maybe if I tilt my head that way... Yeah. Nope. The other way? Ah, yet. Mm....
I'll see if the Riders approve then post.

Helen Brenna said...

I would truly love to bait his hook, says our sweet, innocent Iowan.

Michele, Michele, Michele!! Post it! Post it! Post it!

Michele Hauf said...

I think the theme is 'wet', eh?

As I mentioned, I have a link for a nice blog that posts nice pics of nice boys looking erm...nice. Mostly tasteful stuff, and few flashes of every freakin' thing. And just a warning: it is a gay blog. And I don't mean happy. On the other hand, viewing it certainly does make me happy. (And don't ask how I stumbled across this site, cause I'll never tell.)

Okay enough!

http://bodywhisperer.blogspot.com

Helen Brenna said...

We're forever grateful, Michele!

Christie Ridgway said...

Wait, wait...

Is that first picture a chair of some kind? Is it supposed to be real? I'm trying to think how it could figure in one of Lois's books. Oh, never mind. I'll quit thinking and just look at the pretty pictures below instead.

Cindy Gerard said...

Lois - would you please 'splain the chair to our innocent little Christie???
And she calls herself a California girl :o)

Debra Dixon said...

Christie-- Men have bits. And those bits need to go...somewhere. Plus the chair is "straddle-able."

You do the math. :)

lois greiman said...

I love Michele.

And thanks for the explanation, Deb. Very well put.

Cindy Gerard said...

To Deb's explanation I'll add: think of men in Kilts. :o)

And to the rest of you -- Standards, ladies. You are sadly lacking in standards. God love ya!

lois greiman said...

Any other riders want to up the ante? I think we're already way past professionalism. :)

Playground Monitor said...

I leave for a couple hours to hit the Christmas store sale and buy a few groceries. Okay, I'll admit I'm sick of this book and left so I wouldn't have my hero and heroine drive off a cliff on their way to a mountain cabin to have sex for the first time.

I get back home, put away my purchases and surf back to the convertible. I scroll down and...


HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I believe I could learn to like fishing with Mr. Hip Waders. The shower guy is pretty sweet too.

Must visit the blog Michele posted the link to and add it to my ever-growing list of "Hot Guy" websites.

P.S. I bought a book today since I had been at the Christmas store and had visions of sugar plums dancing in my head and was singing Christmas carols. It's Christie's MUST LOVE MISTLETOE. I can use it as motivation to write. If I meet my daily word count I can read.

P.P.S. My verification word is brisr. Is that the guy who performs the bris? ;-)

lois greiman said...

Merry Christmas, Marilyn. :)

Playground Monitor said...

The blog Michele mentioned does give new meaning to the lyric "Don we now our gay apparel," although those fellows apparently forgot to don theirs. ;-)

And a Merry Christmas to you too, Lois.

Michele Hauf said...

Ha! Marilyn, I so agree. But why is it a gay site has nicer pics of men then some of the straight ones? Hmm...

Angel said...

I have to say that Playground Monitor corrupted me. She sent out the link to your blog today with the suggestion to view it "without children present". All I can say is "Yum" on those last two.

You ladies are hilarious! Thanks.

lois greiman said...

I find it intriguing that "Playground Monitor" corrupted the "Angel" but I guess someone has to do it.

catslady said...

Back to last names - mine is sheats - so not to bad when referring to sheets (we always tell our daughters we should have named one of them satin), and I wish we were the sheetz that own the gas stations, but I'm not too thrilled when we get shats or shets (pronounced shits) - we have telemarketers pronounce it that way!

Luckily I have friends that send me all kinds of racey emails lol.

Sean and Anna said...

I checked this blog this morning and laughed a lot- fun! I come back later to rave about one of Christie's books and I have lost all words:) Happy Monday for me and I just want to go on record and say you gals can be naughty any 'ol time.
Anna

Sean and Anna said...

And where on earth did you find that chair?
Anna again

Cindy Gerard said...

The chair was in the Kilt and Tartan fall catalog. Just got my copy last week.
Okay. That was bad. But hey, can we go any lower??

lois greiman said...

Thanks for the help with this blog Michele and Helen. You definitely made it livelier.

Happy Monday everyone.

lois greiman said...

Oh, and this just in...a special thank you to Marilyn. I'm in a festive mood now, though I'm on dialup so the show was really slow. Which was okay actually.

Thanks for making me laugh everyone. Needed that.

Playground Monitor said...

What can I say? I had lunch with Cindy in Atlanta and I haven't been the same since.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it. ;-)

And you're quite welcome for the little bit of festivity, though it wasn't a bit little, was it?