Friday, July 18, 2008

The Evils of Hose

When I was younger (caution: dating myself ahead) pantyhose were a given if you were getting Dressed Up. You know - weddings, fancy parties, job interviews. The only way you could wear a dress and no hose was if it was a summery thing with sandals, going to something casual.

I hated them. Thought they were hot and wildly uncomfortable.

Fast forward (mumble, mumble) years. And wearing hose now marks you as hopelessly out of date, unless it's actual tights and a fashion statement. I should be thrilled, right?

Except there's a problem. For one, I live in Minnesota, and bare legs in January . . . not a good thing.

But mostly, my legs are just not up to the task. They really could use a bit of veiling, mostly to disguise the veining. And the bruises, and bumps, and mosquito bits . . .

Not to mention that, half the time, depending upon what I had for dinner the night before, I'm wearing Spanx, anyway, so the comfort factors not there.

So what do you do? I don't tan. (It's not entirely fear of skin cancer, though that's a good excuse. Mostly, it's Fear of Boredom. And Heat.)

I tried that spray can "air stocking stuff." It's kind of a pain, and it made my sheets brown. I bought the new More magazine, which had a headline on the cover about making your bare legs to look good, only to find out it was all about leg makeup. I can barely bring myself to put makeup on my face.

So I'm going off to RWA, the one time I year I really must dress up routinely.
And I need suggestions. What do you all do . . . have a self-tanner that really works, go off and great a spray tan, or just live with it?

I'm really not very good at living with anything. But I'm also afraid to end up, oh, orange. Or purple. If anybody could manage to do something wierd and end up purple, it would be me.



Candace said...

Susie, try one of the gradual self tanner/moisturizers. Jergens makes a good one. So does Neutrogena. They provide more of a gently bronzed "glow" than a truly tanned look. No oranginess. Promise.

Christie Ridgway said...

Susie: Yes, I know people who swear by those gradual tanners/lotions. But they just smell weird on me. So I always give up on them.

The other thing pantyhose are good for is warmth! When we go to those freezing conference hotels I get so cold. One time we were in a room with tables and there was a big stack of clean tablecloths in a corner and several of us wrapped ourself in them.

Lori said...

I've used the Neutrogena self-tanner. It actually comes in a mousse now, LOL. But no orange, and it works beutifully, and if you wash your hands quickly, no tan palms either (which is what I absolutely HATE about the self-tanners). I just hate that you have to have somebody else get your back :(

And I'm going to RWA white as a ghost. I'll be sure to find you and say hi!

Dina said...

Hi Susan, sorry I can't help you here, I don't use any self tanners or tan either.

Betina Krahn said...

Susie, I feel your pain. The sun I get is from walking the dogs or my morning walk and mostly stops at the tops of my sneakers. Not a good look for heels. I'm with you-- I'd like to have a little more color on my legs I think I'll try the Neutrogena stuff this week and see if it helps a little.

It's not like we're asking for fantastic tans, right? Just a little color so we don't scare the locals! :)

Helen Brenna said...

I was sitting next to my nineteen year old daughter the other day and noticed for the first time how old my legs look. Oh, for that nice smooth, golden look of youth. Gone. Forever.

I'm heading to the store this week for the self-tanner.

Why do we do this to ourselves before national?