Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Holiday Eating Tips :)


Greiman here.

I recently received these helpful holiday hints from a friend, and I must say...they've changed my life. (Not to mention my jeans size.) I hope you find them as useful as I have.

Holiday Eating Tips*

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare; you can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy . Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.


5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?


6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of
eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.


8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?


9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.


10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.

*These tips may not be approved by the Heart Association or the Try Not To Be An Idiot Foundation

Happy Holidays everyone! Thanks for bloggin' with us.

7 comments:

Cole said...

LOL - I love the carrot stick one!

Cole

Helen Brenna said...

Sounds like a plan, Lois!

Blondie0409 said...

LOL, thanks for the tip. I was feeling a little depressed and having to start up my diet again put a damper on things. Well hope your holiday was great and you drank all the eggnog you could!

flchen1 said...

Thanks, Lois! I'll be sure to park myself next to the good stuff at the next party :) And I'll just toss that guilt over not exercising... what a waste of napping time, right?

Mmm... gravy...

Betina Krahn said...

Lois, this was sure worth waiting for! I'm totally with you on the pies. And the potatoes-- whole cream or sour cream with chives-- yeah, baby! And gravy-- yes!!! I have to call a halt somewhere, so, it's the eggnog that has to go. Sorry. A sip or two will do me until next Christmas. And as for exercising. . . sorting through the ornaments and decorations and climbing up and down a ladder and hefting boxes out of the guest room so somebody can actually sleep in there. . . that'll have to count for exercise until I have more time.

And whew. . . I'm so relieved not to have to tackle that fruit cake!

:) Betina

Playground Monitor said...

*snort*

A family friend treated my mom and me to dinner at Bonefish Grill last week and I swear I could hear my arteries clogging from the lemon butter sauce on the tilapia and the creme brulee. But hey... I didn't want the family friend to think I didn't appreciate the fine dinner.

January 1st is definitely going to be the start of some new eating habits. The pounds have just piled on. Ugh!

Marilyn

lois greiman said...

To better living on January 1st... We could all make a pact.

Well...let's start January 2nd. :)