A drop of belladonna, and a touch of ooky.

I went to the eye doctor today. Wherein, I learned the Secrets Of the Universe (or at least, I got a Small Answer to a Very Big Question).
I don't think there's a writer alive who hasn't been asked The Question many times.

Where do you get your ideas?

Writers have been known to utterly freeze up at that question, wince, turn away, or even act deaf. Where do we get our ideas? Well, it's very difficult to explain. It kinda, well you see it— But then sometimes... And then other times. And then when I'm doing this, and that is just so, and the world is...

It is an ineffable thing.

We have been known to give such answers as "I get them from the girls in the basement", or "I watch a lot of television and/or read newspapers", and my favorite is "WalMart".

I got an idea at the eye doctor. I went in because I woke up this weekend with a red eye. Looked like blood all over the white part. Yeah, it's creepy and kooky, mysterious and spooky, and all together ooky, but it doesn't hurt. [Sidebar: What does ooky mean? No matter. I like the word. End of sidebar.] So I did the whole eye-check-up thing since it's been a while and I could use a new prescription for glasses. The nurse put the dreaded 'drops' in my eyes so my pupils would dilate, and set me out in the waiting room for fifteen minutes.

Fifteen minutes without the ability to read or do anything other than sit quietly and be with oneself, is An Eternity for a writer. We think about things. We get...Ideas.

By the time I returned to the doctor's chair, I had to ask. 'So this dilating stuff, is that the same as the belladonna I know the women used to put into their eyes in historical times?' It was supposed to make them more attractive to others. The doctor said 'Yep, same stuff, but in much weaker form.'

Cool. So we talked about an exhibit the doctor had seen at the Science Museum that showed two pictures of a woman's face, exactly the same, except in one, her pupils were dilated. When asked to choose which image was more attractive to them, 90% of the people chose the one with the dilated pupils. Again, cool.

'Interesting', I said to the doctor. And yet, at that moment, I couldn't see a thing. He was a blur to me. Albeit, a handsome blur, but if I had to pick him out of a crowd with dilated pupils, I don't think I could do it. And then the Idea hit. I blurted out to the doctor, "So if a woman wanted to attract the Handsome Count at the ball, she might put belladonna into her eyes, and head out to the dance floor. (Historical times, of course.) Except, now she's not seeing so well, and instead of the Handsome Count, she goes up to the Handsome Count's fraternal twin brother, who is not quite as handsome, and because he was born second is but a mere Vicomte. She dances with him. They steal a kiss in the dark. The woman is compromised. They must marry immediately. And now that the belladonna has worn off, she realizes her tragic mistake!"

The eye doctor may have merely blinked at that outburst from me. I'm not sure. He was still a blur at the time. "I'm a writer," I said. And he gave me an "Ah." Which explains a lot of strange occurances and possible insanity, I'm sure. Trust me, we writers get that sort of response a lot.

Anyway, after I got home, I couldn't do anything. The words on the computer screen were a blur, so writing was impossible. I was literally crippled! Okay, so I managed a load of laundry. But I drew the line at the dishwasher. I could cut myself on a steak knife with this blurred vision. We'd be talking major ooky then. So I sat down and was still and quiet and the Idea returned.

Pity the poor heroine matched up with the wrong twin brother all because of a drop of belladonna. But! Lo, the Handsome Count is an arrogant, vain man with bastards all over the county. While the Not Quite as Handsome But Still Worth a Second Look Vicomte is truly a kind soul at heart. He is honorable and has integrity and will make a fine home for the heroine, and they lived happily ever after! As well, the heroine wears a small vial of belladonna about her neck. One day her daughter will come home with plans to attract the Handsome Duke. And we all know what a little belladonna can do to change our perceptions.

So writers, where do you get your ideas? And readers, have you ever asked an author where they get their ideas? (I know I have.) What's the craziest response you've received?

And what about you? Ever have a moment of utter ooky-ness?

Michele

ps - my eye is fine. A bruise. Since there's no skin on the eye, the blood is visible and very bright. Still creepy. And ooky. But alas, every morning when I look in the mirror I see it. I have begun to delight in my ooky-ness! And anyone who stares, well then, I'll just call it the evil eye and be done with them!

Have an ooky day. :-)